Crit Happens LIVE from Evercon: Save Lord Evercon

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You can grab my thighs through
my skirt if you need to.

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Oh God.
I'm just I need more alcohol.

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That'd be impressive for way
over there.

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I'm not.
Charismatic and.

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I'll stab I.
Echo.

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That's weird.
Hello everyone, welcome to the

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first live recording of Crit
Happens.

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So for those of you who don't
know, we are Crit Happens.

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We.
Are a new DND actual play

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podcast.
Tonight's adventure is a special

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operation that is handled only
by the most elite magical

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response team in the multiverse.
When spells go wrong.

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When Magic gets unstable, when
reality itself starts rolling

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natural ones, there's only one
team crazy enough to handle it

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all.
They are the universal neo Magic

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isolation team, or as we like to
call them, unit.

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And let's go ahead and meet
tonight's players.

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We.
Got the Dyson.

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There who's?
First first up, he is 17 feet

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tall.
That's you, Bob.

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He had two shots at dinner and
he's absolutely prepared for a

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night he probably will not
remember tomorrow morning.

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Please welcome Bob O who is
playing Stephen.

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Say.
It right Stephen Uriel, Ryan

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Kell or Stephen Urkel.
Thank you.

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You're welcome.
Thank you for doing it right

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now.
Now, Spencer.

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Spencer, before we start, I have
to pass something on to you.

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Next up, his face paint was
professionally applied by his

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wife because if he tried to do
it, he would probably poke his

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eye out.
After nearly choking on a bone

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tonight at dinner, we are all
very grateful he's still with us

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tonight.
Bring in Gene who is going to be

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playing Fizzwick Next up His
Next up.

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I'm about 90% sure she thinks
she's at a Star Wars convention

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or she got lost on the way to
the USS Enterprise.

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Please welcome Patty playing
Delara Case.

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Patty.
I like Patty.

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Next, fresh off his first place
victory at tonight's drag show,

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he is the cousin of all cousins,
very much smarter than I am.

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Please welcome Jesse.
Easy, easy, easy.

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That lawsuits there, dude.
Next, he's dapper.

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He's dangerous.
He's also dressed like he's

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trying to get a job at the bank
while secretly becoming a chaos

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demon.
Welcome in Archie playing Rowan.

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And finally, she's a disaster
waiting to happen.

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Yeah.
She's mean to me.

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She bullies me.
But she also gets the full

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benefits.
Of dating the dungeon.

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Bastard.
Welcome in Kenzie playing

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Seraphin I.
Just give her some popcorn.

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Guys.
Oh yes, and the fox around her,

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her now.
Easy there.

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It's not a title there, John.
It is a.

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Title Wrestling was two hours
ago.

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Fantasy since he.
Introduced.

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Her Now this is your team, the
Universal Neo Magic Isolation

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team.
Now normally teams like this

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would be carefully balanced.
Fighters, clerics, robes.

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Sensible.
Adventures.

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But not tonight.
Because tonight, every single

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member of unit that you see is a
wild magic.

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Sorcery.
Which means I cannot begin to

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describe the chaos you're about
to witness.

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So let's let chaos begin right
now on Crit Happen.

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Stop.
Let's write this story.

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I don't need the allegory.
Please just tell me what's real.

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But nothing ever seemed to be
real.

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But she's in colours that don't
exist.

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Painting my painting
counterfeit.

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Bless every truth I knew just
starts to twist camp from my

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calm.
In a world like this.

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I've been my tongue till the
words went dry.

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We're my old like a chief
disguise.

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I see the truth when I close my
eyes.

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The hardest part was a great
goodbye.

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I'm fake the IT can masturbate.
I've been lost.

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Welcome into Crit Happens here
on Spotify, iTunes,

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player.fmpoddirectory.com and
live on Crit Happens dot show.

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We are live from ever con 2026.
This is our first live show

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recording and we are very
excited for everybody to be here

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tonight.
Now, those of you in the

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audience who have not had a
chance to follow us on Spotify

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00:06:21,240 --> 00:06:24,080
or any of our Souls notes, seek
out one of our members during

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the break.
And also tonight we will get you

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signed up and followed and
you'll get a free set of dice.

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We all know you're all dice
golf.

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That's how D&D players work.
So tonight's adventure is going

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to be a very strange one because
like I said at the top of the

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show, every single member of
UNIT is a wild magic sorcerer,

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specifically a level 8 wild
magic sorcerer.

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So Yep, tonight that's.
The thing?

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Is going to be very chaotic.
So how this will work is every

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time you cast a level spell, you
will roll me AD 20.

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If you roll a prime number for
those of you at home will your

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brains now exploding that would
be 1357111317 and 19.

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So you have eight chances to
wild magic surge.

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Now normally if you were to
surge, you would roll

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percentiles.
Now tonight, instead of having

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you roll your Wild Magic surges,
the audience will be rolling

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your Wild Magic Surges tonight
with the dice.

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Excellent.
They're rolled on dice so you

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can.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.

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Thank you for pointing to that.
Other people that didn't

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actually notice, I didn't have a
choice.

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It was a TikTok buy.
What do you want from me?

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Not sponsored.
Yeah.

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I'm sponsored, not sponsored.
Spencer, you know you're now the

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hardest working DM in the P3
Podcast Network.

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That is correct.
I I have something for you.

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Oh God, I'm.
Terrified.

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Oh no.
This, Spencer, is a great

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responsibility, as you are now,
you know, responsible for, you

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know, making sure that your your
players don't stink.

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Is it deodorant?
I I hate you.

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What's actually really funny is
that in my in my own backpack, I

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have my own personal deodorant.
OK, give me that back then.

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Deodorant.
Give me that back then.

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Personal.
Girlfriend.

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Yeah, give me that back then,
because, Because you know what?

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Because you'll stink.
No, because you know what?

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I tried to be nice.
I tried to do a nice gesture.

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I tried to pass my former mantle
on to you and.

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You just shit on it, it's OK.
OK, we're looking forward to

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making you cry, world.
'S Chinese violin.

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It must.
Be so hard.

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I bet you don't get.
To say that to me tonight

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anymore.
So tonight to the special

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edition of What happens, you,
the members of unit, will be

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tasked with a very special task.
And it's 1 of utmost importance

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to this specific location you
will be in charge of Low.

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He's talking about.
I can hear you whispering in

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your microphone.
Yeah, I can.

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I can see you now.
Usually we do the show on

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Discord.
I can see you now.

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I'm more dressed up.
Tonight's adventure Lord Ever

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Con, Patreon of storytellers and
the protector of Tabletop Realms

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has been kidnapped moments
before Ever Con has started.

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Witnesses describe masked
cultists made of parchment and

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dice dragging him into a glowing
rift behind the mainstage.

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Unit Intelligence identifies the
attackers as members of the Cult

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of the Carts.
Of the what?

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Carts.
CARPS.

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Like the fish?
Like the fish, it is, it is.

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It is not cracks.
Carps is a term that was taught

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to me and drilled into my brain
by Christian Ahmed.

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It is a It is a name for the
newest members of the gaming

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club, the cops.
The cult of the Carps is an

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interplanar faction that
believes stories and games

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should always have an end.
And if they succeed tonight, all

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campaigns, all realms, collapse
into silence.

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You are the emergency response
team being deployed to the realm

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00:11:01,040 --> 00:11:03,240
in which Lord Evercon has been
taken.

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00:11:03,760 --> 00:11:07,240
He has been taken into a story
fracture.

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Now you must stop the cult from
completing a ritual called the

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Final Page.
Are.

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00:11:26,070 --> 00:11:28,790
There any questions so far
before I go any further?

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This is Jesse, my hands up.
Yes, I can.

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I can see you.
I was.

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00:11:35,150 --> 00:11:36,910
Telling the microphone.
OK.

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00:11:42,470 --> 00:11:47,670
No, Sir, not yet.
Do you have any other inside

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00:11:47,670 --> 00:11:53,880
information on leaders?
On eaters leaders leaders give

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00:11:53,880 --> 00:11:56,120
me an insight check.
Leedle, leedle, leedle.

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There's parchment at the can you
find?

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00:12:03,480 --> 00:12:04,240
Outside, I don't know.
Do you have?

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Insight 1717 OK, you know that
the leader of this cult goes by

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the name High Edict Maldict
Dicta Dick.

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High eater Dick.
He got it now.

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Oh man, I'm so glad you.
Said that I was about.

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To.
Dick.

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00:12:28,200 --> 00:12:31,320
No, Sir.
Wait, who should have brought

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00:12:31,320 --> 00:12:32,920
your giant hammer to give to
Kyle?

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I'm writing it phonetically.
Phonetically.

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00:12:35,640 --> 00:12:37,120
Yes, so I write.
Do you even know how to spell

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that?
Yeah, High Eater Maldict.

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Yes.
In honor of Orban, who is not

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here tonight, can I whack him?
Him sure, give me an attack

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roll.
Maybe she had somebody from the.

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Top Oh I got him that 20 can I
whack him son?

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00:12:59,640 --> 00:13:00,240
Of.
A bitch?

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00:13:00,240 --> 00:13:02,600
Yeah.
Where do you whack him

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00:13:02,600 --> 00:13:04,560
specifically?
In the back of the freaking head

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00:13:04,560 --> 00:13:05,320
like.
OK, slap.

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00:13:06,000 --> 00:13:08,080
Yeah.
Except you go to Gibbs, slap

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00:13:08,080 --> 00:13:10,680
him.
But you hit him so hard.

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00:13:10,680 --> 00:13:11,960
How?
Much damage do I take?

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00:13:11,960 --> 00:13:15,800
That.
It's an unarmed attack from a

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wizard, a sorcerer, Sorry.
Yeah, well, she hit him pretty

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00:13:20,080 --> 00:13:23,040
God damn hard.
What's what's shopping grass do?

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00:13:23,640 --> 00:13:28,520
Six damage.
And you take 6 damage as he she

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clonks you in the back of the
head and you go face first into

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00:13:31,560 --> 00:13:32,720
the floor.
What?

193
00:13:32,840 --> 00:13:35,080
Was that really?
Was that really necessary?

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00:13:35,080 --> 00:13:37,240
Oh my God, I can't take you
seriously with your glasses.

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00:13:37,280 --> 00:13:38,840
I.
Can't take you seriously, ever.

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00:13:38,840 --> 00:13:39,640
So shut up.
I.

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00:13:39,920 --> 00:13:41,160
Hate this.
Character already.

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00:13:44,720 --> 00:13:51,160
No, Sir.
All right, so you are given the

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00:13:51,200 --> 00:13:56,760
information that you must travel
to the land of Encouraged Fate

200
00:14:02,960 --> 00:14:10,240
and you know that the entrance
to this realm, for those of you

201
00:14:10,240 --> 00:14:14,000
and I should have explained this
world is built around the world

202
00:14:14,000 --> 00:14:16,480
of Varelios, place of my own
mind.

203
00:14:17,400 --> 00:14:22,920
You know this to be within the
echo fields and memory wastes

204
00:14:23,440 --> 00:14:24,760
which you are currently located
in.

205
00:14:24,760 --> 00:14:29,080
So it's only about 1/2 day's
travel to get there based on

206
00:14:29,080 --> 00:14:32,880
information you've received from
the Scale Bound syndicate.

207
00:14:34,840 --> 00:14:36,680
Were you asking a question or
were you doing a hoenown?

208
00:14:36,680 --> 00:14:40,720
I was going to point.
At the map because people don't

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00:14:40,800 --> 00:14:42,600
know where the memory waste and
stuff are.

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00:14:42,600 --> 00:14:44,400
I don't think these.
People, yes, for those of you in

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00:14:44,400 --> 00:14:49,040
the audience, memory Wastes and
thank you Sir, the echo fields

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00:14:49,040 --> 00:14:50,160
and memory waste want to hold
that up.

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00:14:50,280 --> 00:14:52,960
It's located right here, this
big old purple island right

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00:14:52,960 --> 00:14:55,200
there.
So that's where unit

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00:14:55,200 --> 00:14:57,840
headquarters are because they
specialize in.

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00:14:58,920 --> 00:15:00,680
Really.
Really shitty magic.

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00:15:00,760 --> 00:15:07,680
So thank you Sir.
You've earned your pay today, So

218
00:15:11,920 --> 00:15:13,320
what do you like to do?
A.

219
00:15:16,040 --> 00:15:22,000
Drink right and tonic in.
English wheel what?

220
00:15:22,040 --> 00:15:24,120
Would you guys like Wheel?
Wheel.

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00:15:24,120 --> 00:15:27,360
Seraphin's doing nothing.
I I mean, we would need to

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00:15:27,360 --> 00:15:28,240
travel there.
Oh.

223
00:15:29,920 --> 00:15:33,680
My God, right?
I think I'm giving Core Spencer

224
00:15:33,680 --> 00:15:34,920
an aneurysm with my.
Voice.

225
00:15:34,920 --> 00:15:36,800
You want to talk a little bit
louder there, Urkel?

226
00:15:38,000 --> 00:15:40,200
I think I'm giving you an
aneurysm with my voice.

227
00:15:40,320 --> 00:15:42,800
I've known you for 12 years.
You've given me many.

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00:15:42,800 --> 00:15:45,560
You know me a lot longer than 12
years, butthole.

229
00:15:45,640 --> 00:15:49,800
It's felt like 1200 easy there.
Right.

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00:15:50,720 --> 00:15:55,080
So I assume that you will travel
on foot as I hear no other

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00:15:56,040 --> 00:15:57,960
ideas.
Guys, I'm not a regular.

232
00:15:57,960 --> 00:15:59,480
Can you, you know, pick it up a
little?

233
00:15:59,480 --> 00:16:02,680
Bit are there any?
Are there any places we might

234
00:16:03,960 --> 00:16:07,440
pay for a wagon or a heart or
something to use?

235
00:16:07,440 --> 00:16:08,360
Sure.
Cow.

236
00:16:08,760 --> 00:16:14,520
Yeah, you can use the local cow.
Cow ride, Honey cow.

237
00:16:15,440 --> 00:16:17,440
Sure.
In conventional travel, I'm not

238
00:16:17,440 --> 00:16:19,160
looking for a horse.
I'm looking for a cow.

239
00:16:19,160 --> 00:16:21,000
OK, give me an animal handling
check.

240
00:16:21,000 --> 00:16:22,720
I don't.
Know if I'm good at that?

241
00:16:23,200 --> 00:16:24,360
We know, I believe.
So.

242
00:16:28,680 --> 00:16:31,240
Yeah, I got a 10.
That cow kicks me square in the

243
00:16:31,240 --> 00:16:31,720
chest.
That's.

244
00:16:31,880 --> 00:16:35,600
Average.
No, you walk into the cow and

245
00:16:35,840 --> 00:16:40,240
the guy sees you kind of messing
with the cow and.

246
00:16:41,400 --> 00:16:42,840
Don't say messing, that sounds
dirty.

247
00:16:42,840 --> 00:16:44,480
I'm petting the cow.
There's a difference.

248
00:16:45,280 --> 00:16:52,000
So as you're heavy petting the
cow, he looks up at you, kind of

249
00:16:52,000 --> 00:16:57,720
tails his head and then just
starts walking away from you.

250
00:16:57,720 --> 00:16:58,880
Is that?
A cow.

251
00:17:04,040 --> 00:17:12,960
Pretty sure that cow was dying.
It's a very sick cow, mad cow I

252
00:17:13,040 --> 00:17:13,720
don't want.
The cow.

253
00:17:15,720 --> 00:17:18,520
Wonderful.
The the the, the stable owner

254
00:17:18,520 --> 00:17:20,760
says that that cow was very
sick.

255
00:17:21,400 --> 00:17:23,359
He's very sick.
Many.

256
00:17:23,760 --> 00:17:25,560
Horses do.
You have any?

257
00:17:25,560 --> 00:17:28,119
We have many horses.
Are they equally sick?

258
00:17:28,640 --> 00:17:31,480
Can I have it?
You can't have it, but I will.

259
00:17:31,840 --> 00:17:36,760
We rent it.
Sure, but what guarantee do I

260
00:17:36,760 --> 00:17:38,920
have that you return the cow?
The thought?

261
00:17:38,920 --> 00:17:40,520
What's the thing with the legs?
The horse.

262
00:17:40,720 --> 00:17:42,160
In that case you have an
insurance.

263
00:17:43,280 --> 00:17:45,600
Cost do we have?
Yeah, we're we're sponsored by

264
00:17:45,600 --> 00:17:47,400
Progressive.
OK, so.

265
00:17:47,960 --> 00:17:50,680
Yeah, we.
Have horse insurance, I swear.

266
00:17:50,680 --> 00:17:54,560
We'll bring it back and when we
do 5 gold.

267
00:17:55,120 --> 00:17:59,040
He looks down at your skirt and
he goes, Are you, it's your

268
00:17:59,040 --> 00:18:03,560
character, a man or a woman?
Technically they them.

269
00:18:05,120 --> 00:18:07,320
I ran right into that one head
first.

270
00:18:07,760 --> 00:18:10,240
OK, so they looked out at your
your shirt.

271
00:18:11,640 --> 00:18:12,920
I haven't seen your character
sheet.

272
00:18:13,600 --> 00:18:19,560
Audacity.
So your character so your the

273
00:18:19,720 --> 00:18:29,280
same owner looks at you and he's
like 5 gold. 10 if you give us a

274
00:18:29,600 --> 00:18:34,320
a wagon.
Give me a persuasion check.

275
00:18:35,520 --> 00:18:37,640
I'd rather roll deception
because I'm alive.

276
00:18:40,600 --> 00:18:42,600
Can I offer him my scorpion
staff?

277
00:18:44,000 --> 00:18:46,320
It's it's a staff with a live
scorpion.

278
00:18:46,320 --> 00:18:48,840
Like, glued onto the top he
goes.

279
00:18:49,120 --> 00:18:51,160
What are you, a scorpion?
Not alive anymore.

280
00:18:51,960 --> 00:18:53,200
What?
I.

281
00:18:53,360 --> 00:18:55,720
Got it from the Cobalt.
What's his name?

282
00:18:55,720 --> 00:18:58,600
Jafar.
His name was.

283
00:18:58,680 --> 00:19:00,920
Spurt.
Oh yeah, you're right.

284
00:19:00,920 --> 00:19:01,920
Yeah, it was a cobra.
You're correct.

285
00:19:03,280 --> 00:19:08,000
His name was Eddie Spurt.
So I bring out the the 20. 7 on

286
00:19:08,000 --> 00:19:10,280
my deception.
Scorpion staff and smack it down

287
00:19:10,280 --> 00:19:12,680
to the ground and the sport
Scorpion is like swinging

288
00:19:12,680 --> 00:19:14,240
around.
It's failed during the stab.

289
00:19:14,320 --> 00:19:16,320
OK, we'll get back to you in
just a second.

290
00:19:16,360 --> 00:19:19,880
What the fuck did you roll?
I got a 27 on my deception.

291
00:19:19,880 --> 00:19:21,880
What did you roll?
Natural. 19.

292
00:19:22,280 --> 00:19:25,800
OK, that makes much more sense.
It's like, yeah, OK, yeah.

293
00:19:25,800 --> 00:19:27,760
He you know what he's like.
He looks at your skirt and he's

294
00:19:27,760 --> 00:19:30,560
like, you know what, 3 gold and
it's yours to keep.

295
00:19:31,520 --> 00:19:33,960
Yep, when we return it.
No, you can keep it.

296
00:19:34,000 --> 00:19:35,640
And he just keeps looking you up
and down.

297
00:19:35,640 --> 00:19:41,080
Yeah.
I'll give him 3 gold.

298
00:19:41,240 --> 00:19:43,640
OK.
You take 3 gold off your I have.

299
00:19:44,360 --> 00:19:46,320
A question.
I thought you were throwing

300
00:19:46,320 --> 00:19:50,680
something at me, I looked at.
Like can I roll a sleight?

301
00:19:50,840 --> 00:19:52,120
Of hand did you take?
3 gold.

302
00:19:52,120 --> 00:19:53,360
Just let me roll a sleight of
hand.

303
00:19:53,840 --> 00:19:55,040
What the hell, go for it.
Oh.

304
00:19:56,680 --> 00:19:57,760
No, that's a cock die.
See.

305
00:19:57,800 --> 00:19:59,960
Look at it.
Look at it really bad at this

306
00:19:59,960 --> 00:20:00,640
then.
So you hand me.

307
00:20:00,680 --> 00:20:03,080
Thank you.
That's cock Die what?

308
00:20:03,160 --> 00:20:05,920
The hell just happened?
See, I see that try.

309
00:20:06,000 --> 00:20:08,280
To see this I.
Know it's not an 18.

310
00:20:08,280 --> 00:20:13,040
No, I got a it's.
Totally an 18, right?

311
00:20:13,360 --> 00:20:15,280
It's beautiful, fantastic.
So what is it?

312
00:20:16,560 --> 00:20:19,000
Well, it was really poor because
you saw me do it.

313
00:20:19,480 --> 00:20:21,760
I didn't see it was.
Hot it was legitimately.

314
00:20:21,760 --> 00:20:23,520
Got this one but don't roll it.
On this, yeah, it was

315
00:20:23,520 --> 00:20:25,160
legitimate.
Yeah, don't roll it on the

316
00:20:25,160 --> 00:20:27,080
valley of paper that you have
it.

317
00:20:27,240 --> 00:20:32,840
Was 6.
I just wanted your mice you.

318
00:20:32,960 --> 00:20:34,560
You should give this to her for
that just.

319
00:20:36,440 --> 00:20:38,000
No, we.
Oh no, it was.

320
00:20:38,160 --> 00:20:39,520
It was a ploy.
It was a ploy.

321
00:20:39,680 --> 00:20:42,880
I get it now.
So with the six as you go to, I

322
00:20:42,880 --> 00:20:45,720
assume you're trying to
pickpocket the three gold?

323
00:20:46,040 --> 00:20:48,560
No, I just wanted your mics
continue.

324
00:20:49,040 --> 00:20:51,360
So wait, you were rolling a
sleight of hand on me, correct?

325
00:20:51,720 --> 00:20:57,640
Yeah, which clearly worked.
It was not hard ladies.

326
00:20:58,720 --> 00:21:04,600
You hold the 2 you didn't see
shit the whole.

327
00:21:06,120 --> 00:21:11,400
Time and.
You loved it.

328
00:21:11,480 --> 00:21:12,240
Oh my gosh.
Anyways.

329
00:21:12,680 --> 00:21:16,760
Painting like don't peppermint,
it doesn't taste like pine

330
00:21:16,800 --> 00:21:17,640
needles.
God.

331
00:21:18,200 --> 00:21:19,920
So we got the horse.
You got the.

332
00:21:19,960 --> 00:21:21,600
Horse with the whip, my alcohol.
Fine.

333
00:21:22,080 --> 00:21:23,920
And my scorpion stuff did.
He get the whip.

334
00:21:24,000 --> 00:21:26,200
Yes, I'm sorry, I completely
lost track of your scorpion

335
00:21:26,200 --> 00:21:29,160
stuff.
It's just sticking in the ground

336
00:21:29,160 --> 00:21:31,600
right now, like I whacked it
down hard enough that it's just

337
00:21:31,600 --> 00:21:32,520
look in there.
I'm curious.

338
00:21:32,520 --> 00:21:34,760
The scorpion is.
Totally what it's like give me.

339
00:21:40,080 --> 00:21:42,240
An athletics check.
This is a long time to do

340
00:21:42,280 --> 00:21:45,080
anything.
This is how it goes a few people

341
00:21:45,080 --> 00:21:46,360
all the time.
That found this.

342
00:21:47,720 --> 00:21:49,800
Oh, not within, not within
striking range.

343
00:21:53,240 --> 00:21:55,880
Right into the right, into the
Yeah, Brown to ghost trying.

344
00:21:56,240 --> 00:21:56,880
To get.
Out.

345
00:21:56,880 --> 00:21:59,320
You're just leaving it there.
I offered it to him.

346
00:21:59,320 --> 00:22:02,040
Is he like?
No, he got 3 gold for it.

347
00:22:02,400 --> 00:22:03,400
He's.
Kind of just in the.

348
00:22:03,400 --> 00:22:05,720
Back looking at them really
mostly.

349
00:22:05,720 --> 00:22:08,960
With the mics, I'm just going to
like walk away from it like.

350
00:22:09,840 --> 00:22:11,240
Have it.
OK.

351
00:22:11,720 --> 00:22:14,360
So I assume that then you'll.
Getting ready to take.

352
00:22:15,320 --> 00:22:19,960
I'm going to get in I'm.
Going to I'm going to make this

353
00:22:19,960 --> 00:22:22,560
wagon move.
Get in the.

354
00:22:22,960 --> 00:22:24,160
Wagon.
Yeah, get in the.

355
00:22:24,200 --> 00:22:25,200
Wagon.
Is there a wagon?

356
00:22:25,560 --> 00:22:26,560
There's a wagon.
That a horse.

357
00:22:26,760 --> 00:22:30,520
Drawing it, everybody.
In I'm doing good.

358
00:22:30,520 --> 00:22:31,920
I'm in.
Everybody give me.

359
00:22:31,920 --> 00:22:35,120
Everybody give me a.
God, I'm going to fail this.

360
00:22:35,120 --> 00:22:39,200
You watch.
You're in a straight that's.

361
00:22:39,200 --> 00:22:45,280
You're in and set too.
Oh, we're in and set 20. 2.

362
00:22:46,040 --> 00:22:47,960
Who rolled?
Who rolled lower than A7?

363
00:22:47,960 --> 00:22:50,320
I didn't.
Have to roll out no I.

364
00:22:52,040 --> 00:22:53,720
Mean, she said she.
Was in a long time.

365
00:22:54,120 --> 00:22:54,440
Ago.
Oh, OK.

366
00:22:55,200 --> 00:22:56,800
Was the first person to say I
got it.

367
00:22:56,800 --> 00:22:59,440
What kind of check is?
This five, OK.

368
00:23:00,520 --> 00:23:02,680
What kind of check is this?
You got 9.

369
00:23:02,800 --> 00:23:04,760
Duck dice, why do you betray?
I'm trying.

370
00:23:04,840 --> 00:23:06,280
Will you please tell me what
kind of check?

371
00:23:07,320 --> 00:23:09,200
Jesus Christ, a straight.
Decks check.

372
00:23:09,320 --> 00:23:10,800
Oh, a straight decks check.
OK, cool.

373
00:23:11,040 --> 00:23:15,640
I think I'm in at 22 you.
Know what I thank you if you.

374
00:23:16,120 --> 00:23:18,880
Keep talking in that voice I
might actually keep.

375
00:23:19,000 --> 00:23:20,400
Up.
No, he's got to do it the entire

376
00:23:20,400 --> 00:23:21,520
he's got to stay in the bit.
Oh, why not?

377
00:23:22,200 --> 00:23:23,400
All right.
You guys are all good down here.

378
00:23:23,800 --> 00:23:25,360
I got 9.
OK, you got 9 I'm.

379
00:23:25,520 --> 00:23:27,520
Just really.
Mad with A5 suspenders.

380
00:23:28,000 --> 00:23:30,160
Bag of mine.
He starts to take, they start to

381
00:23:30,160 --> 00:23:34,560
take off on the my house with
the wagon and the horse and it

382
00:23:34,560 --> 00:23:36,360
starts to go without you and
you're just kind of running

383
00:23:36,360 --> 00:23:38,440
along next to it.
And you kind of like jump

384
00:23:38,440 --> 00:23:42,480
towards the wagon and instead of
landing kind of like on your

385
00:23:42,480 --> 00:23:44,240
feet and grab the wagon and kind
of pull yourself up.

386
00:23:44,280 --> 00:23:49,520
You hit the the ledge of the
wagon face first into the into

387
00:23:49,520 --> 00:23:51,600
the wagon.
Am I going to lose a tooth?

388
00:23:52,240 --> 00:23:55,840
Well, probably one house rule
that we have here with crit

389
00:23:55,840 --> 00:23:58,000
happens is called exploding
dice.

390
00:23:58,560 --> 00:24:01,960
None of you know what that is.
Anytime you roll either damage

391
00:24:01,960 --> 00:24:04,760
or healing, if you roll the Max
number of whatever die you are

392
00:24:04,760 --> 00:24:07,000
rolling, you roll again.
So, so far you've taken 6

393
00:24:07,000 --> 00:24:09,520
damage.
Jesus Christ.

394
00:24:10,920 --> 00:24:12,120
That's 12 so far.
Oh.

395
00:24:14,080 --> 00:24:17,520
No.
You need to take this dye away

396
00:24:17,520 --> 00:24:19,800
from me.
Can I use some power to juice?

397
00:24:20,960 --> 00:24:25,320
I allow you to at least have the
opportunity to cushion her fall.

398
00:24:25,360 --> 00:24:26,520
Yeah.
Oh my God.

399
00:24:26,680 --> 00:24:33,120
Yeah, I've really cushioned it.
Give me acrobatics.

400
00:24:33,280 --> 00:24:34,240
Check.
Oh my God.

401
00:24:34,440 --> 00:24:35,720
Oh, that's not bad, actually.
OK.

402
00:24:37,240 --> 00:24:38,560
So did I kill?
1414.

403
00:24:39,120 --> 00:24:42,920
Yeah, I'll stop at 12:12.
And you, you hit and you kind of

404
00:24:42,920 --> 00:24:46,240
like scrape your forehead across
the the.

405
00:24:46,360 --> 00:24:48,560
Wood.
You've got splinters and.

406
00:24:48,680 --> 00:24:50,720
Just not.
Believe yeah, you're scorpion

407
00:24:50,720 --> 00:24:52,320
yourself into the.
Oh, I have.

408
00:24:52,400 --> 00:24:54,400
That staff.
Should have kept the staff,

409
00:24:54,440 --> 00:24:58,000
yeah.
Meanwhile went out surfins in

410
00:24:58,000 --> 00:25:00,840
the back of the trailer laughing
her ass off at you.

411
00:25:01,840 --> 00:25:04,480
That's another fairpoint.
None of us really know each

412
00:25:04,480 --> 00:25:06,680
other as characters.
We're just part of the same.

413
00:25:07,040 --> 00:25:09,560
Correct you.
You are a science force.

414
00:25:09,640 --> 00:25:10,920
Correct.
So we have no.

415
00:25:12,560 --> 00:25:13,480
Allegiance.
To each.

416
00:25:13,520 --> 00:25:13,960
Other.
Or.

417
00:25:14,080 --> 00:25:17,160
To each other I I would like to
try and clean her wound with my

418
00:25:17,160 --> 00:25:19,480
tweezers and take all the squats
out.

419
00:25:21,880 --> 00:25:24,520
Yeah, give me a medicine check.
Absolutely.

420
00:25:25,160 --> 00:25:29,000
As you're doing that, one thing
we like to do is on a day's

421
00:25:29,000 --> 00:25:33,280
travel, have a random encounter.
On this, however, we're going to

422
00:25:33,280 --> 00:25:34,480
leave it.
What did you roll?

423
00:25:34,800 --> 00:25:39,440
Die roll the six.
The splinters start to go a

424
00:25:39,440 --> 00:25:41,640
little bit deeper into your into
your head.

425
00:25:42,720 --> 00:25:49,960
Oh, did I do that Three damage?
This is what he gets to keeping

426
00:25:49,960 --> 00:25:54,200
me up past my bedtime, folks.
Yeah, it's way past your

427
00:25:54,200 --> 00:25:56,720
bedtime, old man.
Each brother's sleep.

428
00:25:56,800 --> 00:25:59,440
Been up since 2:00 AM.
Yeah, but you were on a plane

429
00:25:59,440 --> 00:26:00,440
that.
Was on a plane.

430
00:26:00,600 --> 00:26:04,200
So what we'll do for this?
We are most likely going to skip

431
00:26:04,200 --> 00:26:08,360
the travel encounter for time,
however, just to be safe.

432
00:26:08,360 --> 00:26:11,960
Josh.
Don't get your microphone thing.

433
00:26:12,120 --> 00:26:13,120
I won't.
I'm not right to him.

434
00:26:13,480 --> 00:26:16,000
Or the Doctor Pepper.
Go ahead and give that a roll if

435
00:26:16,000 --> 00:26:18,800
you roll A2 or A1.
Oh, that's good at least.

436
00:26:19,040 --> 00:26:21,560
It's going to be not so great
for them, so go ahead and you

437
00:26:21,560 --> 00:26:24,720
can roll that way, whatever you
want to do audience roll.

438
00:26:27,760 --> 00:26:35,680
Here we go.
All right, so you were 13.

439
00:26:36,160 --> 00:26:38,520
Yeah, lucky number 13.
Thank you, Josh.

440
00:26:38,560 --> 00:26:39,440
My.
Friend, we all surge.

441
00:26:39,920 --> 00:26:41,040
What was that?
That's a prime number.

442
00:26:41,040 --> 00:26:43,080
We all surge.
Yeah, it's a prime number.

443
00:26:43,080 --> 00:26:44,160
You all surge.
No, I'm just kidding.

444
00:26:44,640 --> 00:26:47,600
All right, so.
Kind of afraid to be honest.

445
00:26:48,280 --> 00:26:51,160
You will arrive I'm.
Going to take a long rest first.

446
00:26:52,360 --> 00:26:56,520
You have literally like an hour
and a half oh right there.

447
00:26:56,920 --> 00:26:59,680
When did Sarah?
Take a long rest and Lord ever

448
00:26:59,680 --> 00:27:01,160
comparisons.
Because they.

449
00:27:02,560 --> 00:27:07,920
I speak poo and who speaks
celestial, really.

450
00:27:08,440 --> 00:27:09,320
I do.
Mages.

451
00:27:09,440 --> 00:27:11,560
I like that.
For you, well, I like that.

452
00:27:11,560 --> 00:27:12,560
For me, I know.
What I speak?

453
00:27:13,880 --> 00:27:15,760
My other character speaks like 8
languages.

454
00:27:15,840 --> 00:27:17,800
This one speaks too.
I'm pretty sure I'm kind of

455
00:27:17,800 --> 00:27:21,080
stupid.
So you will arrive.

456
00:27:21,080 --> 00:27:31,200
I hate you at a shimmering
bluish purple rift in space.

457
00:27:33,920 --> 00:27:36,160
Like.
It's a rift in space, This.

458
00:27:36,680 --> 00:27:41,480
Diamond spit it's.
Like, like, can we see?

459
00:27:41,480 --> 00:27:43,200
Oh yeah.
Quite clearly this this.

460
00:27:43,200 --> 00:27:45,640
Which of us has the?
Worst con save.

461
00:27:48,880 --> 00:27:50,080
I mean, we all have proficiency
in.

462
00:27:50,080 --> 00:27:52,680
It can we see laying do.
We What's your con save?

463
00:27:53,760 --> 00:27:59,400
I have a + 1. +2.
OK 5 Jesse.

464
00:28:01,800 --> 00:28:04,600
Mine's 8.
Eight, you have a + 8 to a same,

465
00:28:05,000 --> 00:28:08,480
yeah.
OK, plus. 66 Patty.

466
00:28:09,720 --> 00:28:13,760
Oh my con my con is 5.
Hold on, I'm going to Vortex

467
00:28:13,760 --> 00:28:17,680
Warper into that rift.
OK, what level spell is that 2?

468
00:28:18,120 --> 00:28:19,440
Breathe.
OK, So what?

469
00:28:19,920 --> 00:28:21,360
My con is 5.
Oh yeah, yeah.

470
00:28:21,720 --> 00:28:24,680
We're at the green then.
Are you going to tell me?

471
00:28:24,800 --> 00:28:25,840
Are you?
Going to like so.

472
00:28:25,840 --> 00:28:28,640
He, he's got you have a + 5.
Yeah, he's got +10.

473
00:28:28,880 --> 00:28:30,440
He's plus one.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.

474
00:28:30,560 --> 00:28:31,200
You.
It's you.

475
00:28:31,440 --> 00:28:35,840
All right, so go it.
What are you doing, Vortex?

476
00:28:35,960 --> 00:28:37,600
Vortex warp OK.
Oh God, he's chaotic.

477
00:28:38,040 --> 00:28:43,720
I can't do.
That oh, it didn't update all.

478
00:28:43,720 --> 00:28:47,520
Right, you magically twist space
around another creature you can

479
00:28:47,520 --> 00:28:50,720
see within range.
Target must succeed on a

480
00:28:50,720 --> 00:28:54,320
Constitution saving throw.
You may choose to fail the role

481
00:28:54,960 --> 00:28:58,800
or you are teleported to an
unoccupied space of your choice

482
00:28:59,520 --> 00:29:03,440
that you can see within range.
The chosen space must be on a

483
00:29:03,440 --> 00:29:06,200
surface or in a liquid that can
support the target without the

484
00:29:06,200 --> 00:29:10,000
target having to squeeze.
You are casting this at oh at

485
00:29:10,000 --> 00:29:14,920
second above second level.
OK, so go ahead and give me AD

486
00:29:14,920 --> 00:29:19,600
20.
Do I need to do that now or do

487
00:29:19,600 --> 00:29:21,960
we do the spell first?
What?

488
00:29:25,040 --> 00:29:27,560
Do you guys think should we do
the spell first or should we do

489
00:29:27,560 --> 00:29:30,240
wild surge first?
I think it's good to know what

490
00:29:30,240 --> 00:29:32,080
the effect is first.
Spell all right.

491
00:29:33,240 --> 00:29:35,240
See I think so I need to make a
concept you.

492
00:29:35,520 --> 00:29:39,160
Yeah, you may choose.
To fail if you wish full chaos.

493
00:29:39,440 --> 00:29:40,840
16.
Save DCI.

494
00:29:41,480 --> 00:29:42,520
Don't know, I'm trying to figure
it out.

495
00:29:42,560 --> 00:29:47,600
Man, that's not loading.
No, you've drank 90% of it.

496
00:29:47,600 --> 00:29:49,000
You might as well drank the rest
of it.

497
00:29:49,120 --> 00:29:50,720
No, you get the last.
Sip.

498
00:29:50,720 --> 00:29:53,600
Oh, thanks.
You get the back part, you get

499
00:29:53,600 --> 00:29:55,040
the part of that.
Work, Kyle, everybody.

500
00:29:55,040 --> 00:29:57,240
Hey, you can keep.
The damn drink.

501
00:29:57,240 --> 00:30:02,480
There it goes.
All right. 1919.

502
00:30:03,440 --> 00:30:07,960
You fail the same, so you are
going to get all of a sudden you

503
00:30:07,960 --> 00:30:13,120
feel this warm.
One of us has to go first.

504
00:30:14,240 --> 00:30:17,720
You say that to her as she's
just kind of being enveloped in

505
00:30:17,720 --> 00:30:23,000
this rift in space and you just
disappear.

506
00:30:23,120 --> 00:30:27,680
What the fuck?
Like right and then right at the

507
00:30:27,680 --> 00:30:30,640
opening of that rift to
hopefully be sucked into the

508
00:30:30,640 --> 00:30:32,160
rift.
Yeah, Yep.

509
00:30:32,400 --> 00:30:34,000
I assume that I was.
I assume that's where you were.

510
00:30:34,000 --> 00:30:35,920
Going to that's where I was.
Going yeah so she just gets

511
00:30:37,040 --> 00:30:41,400
sucked right into the into the
warp yeah go ahead and roll your

512
00:30:41,400 --> 00:30:49,760
wild magic surge 19 oh boy so
for tonight's. 2nd 19.

513
00:30:50,240 --> 00:30:55,640
That is.
So for tonight's Wild Magic, we

514
00:30:55,640 --> 00:30:58,880
have a specialized table using
both of the dice.

515
00:30:59,000 --> 00:31:04,160
Where is the other dice?
Cool, who would?

516
00:31:04,160 --> 00:31:07,840
Like to roll the wild magic
surge?

517
00:31:08,240 --> 00:31:10,400
Come on up.
Bob, you can't look grab.

518
00:31:10,480 --> 00:31:12,000
The purple one on your way there
too.

519
00:31:12,040 --> 00:31:16,120
We'll give you that one.
You're going to roll 2D20 I

520
00:31:16,120 --> 00:31:19,240
guess.
Star Anyway, it's fine.

521
00:31:19,520 --> 00:31:20,640
Come on.
All right, come the second roll.

522
00:31:21,840 --> 00:31:29,880
All right, First roll is going
to be a 1313 and a six, so

523
00:31:29,880 --> 00:31:36,760
that's a 19.
Funny everybody, everyone at the

524
00:31:36,760 --> 00:31:38,080
table this is.
Poetic.

525
00:31:38,360 --> 00:31:40,280
Poetic.
Yeah, 19 on the surge after

526
00:31:40,280 --> 00:31:45,760
rolling the 19 for the surge.
Everybody, on your next die

527
00:31:45,760 --> 00:31:49,640
roll, whatever it is, you will
subtract 3 from that.

528
00:31:50,440 --> 00:31:52,840
Row.
I have the lucky feet.

529
00:31:53,280 --> 00:31:54,680
Should I do?
Those OK, I'm.

530
00:31:56,920 --> 00:31:58,080
Sure.
I would like to insight.

531
00:31:58,080 --> 00:32:00,080
I would like to insight like why
the hell you do that?

532
00:32:00,960 --> 00:32:03,200
Sure, give me an inside check.
I'm going to, I'm going to, I'm

533
00:32:03,200 --> 00:32:07,640
going to take my -3 right away.
OK, fucking Dick, would you

534
00:32:07,640 --> 00:32:13,120
roll?
It it would be a 12 + 5 S. 17 -,

535
00:32:13,120 --> 00:32:16,680
314 He's a Dick.
I'm sorry, they're a Dick,

536
00:32:16,880 --> 00:32:20,120
correct?
You'll thank you.

537
00:32:20,480 --> 00:32:22,800
You're welcome.
You, Sir, are very rude.

538
00:32:23,400 --> 00:32:25,400
Someone had to go first.
I I would have.

539
00:32:26,480 --> 00:32:27,320
Now you don't have to.
You're.

540
00:32:27,560 --> 00:32:29,960
Welcome, Jesse their.
Gender.

541
00:32:32,240 --> 00:32:35,000
You person, whatever.
I'm going to push him into the

542
00:32:35,000 --> 00:32:37,680
OK go.
Ahead and give me a strike

543
00:32:37,720 --> 00:32:39,760
check.
Can I catch fireball?

544
00:32:39,920 --> 00:32:42,520
As we do.
It can I booming blade a push.

545
00:32:43,680 --> 00:32:48,280
No come.
On, but you're pushing him into

546
00:32:48,320 --> 00:32:51,240
the portal.
He's pushing Mr. Urkel.

547
00:32:51,240 --> 00:32:54,280
How far away are they?
About 10 feet can.

548
00:32:54,640 --> 00:32:56,960
I cast fireball into the.
Fireball.

549
00:32:57,280 --> 00:33:00,000
As he does it.
I'm on the other.

550
00:33:00,000 --> 00:33:03,920
Side bitch bitch, my voice is
not that annoying.

551
00:33:04,520 --> 00:33:06,600
I'm going to die in the 1st 5
minutes.

552
00:33:06,960 --> 00:33:09,000
We're going to put two of them
in there and then remove the

553
00:33:09,000 --> 00:33:10,000
portal.
Yeah, right.

554
00:33:10,240 --> 00:33:12,000
And that's the end of the show.
Thanks for everybody.

555
00:33:15,920 --> 00:33:18,000
Yeah, I mean, you spoke the
words so.

556
00:33:18,160 --> 00:33:19,840
Yeah, we'll.
Start with the push.

557
00:33:21,720 --> 00:33:23,800
I want to know his his role
first so I can know how I want

558
00:33:23,800 --> 00:33:26,880
to use my lucky on him.
Bab.

559
00:33:27,840 --> 00:33:29,480
Strength.
Yeah, Yeah.

560
00:33:29,520 --> 00:33:31,080
OK.
Just go ahead.

561
00:33:31,360 --> 00:33:32,800
What did you roll?
I want to.

562
00:33:32,800 --> 00:33:35,320
Hear you speak the words.
I rolled A5.

563
00:33:35,560 --> 00:33:37,240
There you go.
You got 12.

564
00:33:37,240 --> 00:33:40,480
OK, you successfully pushed me.
All right.

565
00:33:41,240 --> 00:33:45,440
Jesus.
Christ, who sang fireball?

566
00:33:45,440 --> 00:33:50,880
Was it Flow Rider, Fireball.
Pitbull.

567
00:33:50,880 --> 00:33:53,320
Thank you very much.
Yeah.

568
00:33:53,320 --> 00:33:57,440
I mean, you cast fireball.
I'm going to counterspell it.

569
00:33:58,240 --> 00:33:59,960
As.
I'm falling through the rift.

570
00:34:00,560 --> 00:34:02,600
Yeah, it'll, it'll happen
simultaneously.

571
00:34:02,600 --> 00:34:05,320
So I'll, yeah, I'll, I'll allow
it.

572
00:34:06,120 --> 00:34:08,120
That's two surgery.
I'm I'm aware.

573
00:34:08,120 --> 00:34:10,520
We'll get to that.
Trust me.

574
00:34:12,000 --> 00:34:13,440
Oh God, we're all going to die.
I'm.

575
00:34:14,840 --> 00:34:16,639
Glad.
You honestly may be the safest

576
00:34:16,639 --> 00:34:21,920
person here so far.
OK, we'll start with Fireball.

577
00:34:22,480 --> 00:34:28,000
Go ahead and roll me AD 20. 18.
That is not a prime number.

578
00:34:28,000 --> 00:34:32,600
All right, Counterspell. 17.
All right, see it.

579
00:34:33,000 --> 00:34:35,800
Who wants it?
Let's roll.

580
00:34:35,840 --> 00:34:37,719
Come on up.
There you go.

581
00:34:37,719 --> 00:34:40,199
All right.
Let's do it.

582
00:34:40,960 --> 00:34:42,120
Go and roll the grab ball to
him.

583
00:34:42,120 --> 00:34:46,560
Yep.
Now if this is a combination of

584
00:34:46,560 --> 00:34:51,239
17, I think we should roll again
because that's poetic also.

585
00:34:51,560 --> 00:34:57,200
If if it happens, I'm giving
everybody in this room don't

586
00:34:57,320 --> 00:35:00,920
touch, it can't happen.
Well, that's a 39.

587
00:35:01,360 --> 00:35:03,760
Six and a 969.
Great.

588
00:35:03,760 --> 00:35:05,840
All right.
Six and a 39.

589
00:35:06,200 --> 00:35:07,960
Oh, it's a nine total.
I thought it was a nine and a

590
00:35:07,960 --> 00:35:09,720
nine.
OK, so 9 in total.

591
00:35:11,520 --> 00:35:13,040
RDM ladies and.
Gentlemen, all right.

592
00:35:14,440 --> 00:35:15,040
Are.
You.

593
00:35:16,000 --> 00:35:18,120
So you're standing currently,
right?

594
00:35:18,120 --> 00:35:18,960
Really.
In the Rift?

595
00:35:19,040 --> 00:35:22,360
As I'm falling through the rift
I see him casting the fireball

596
00:35:22,360 --> 00:35:23,440
like.
No.

597
00:35:23,680 --> 00:35:28,680
So as you catch counterspell on
fireball, you can you can see

598
00:35:28,680 --> 00:35:30,960
the heat just kind of building
in his hands.

599
00:35:31,400 --> 00:35:33,680
And as you just kind of let
loose your counterspell, it

600
00:35:33,680 --> 00:35:37,120
dispels it and blows everyone
back 30 feet.

601
00:35:44,880 --> 00:35:49,000
Everybody give me a an athletics
check except you and you.

602
00:35:49,280 --> 00:35:51,680
I have.
Full ink everybody except Bob

603
00:35:51,680 --> 00:35:53,880
and.
Patty, just so you guys know

604
00:35:53,880 --> 00:35:57,400
this one's.
I don't care everyone I've got.

605
00:35:57,560 --> 00:36:00,080
A zero?
You got a 0X for zero.

606
00:36:01,280 --> 00:36:02,880
It's not going to go well for
you, my friend.

607
00:36:03,120 --> 00:36:06,080
Wait, athletics or acrobatics?
Athletics.

608
00:36:06,080 --> 00:36:08,080
Or choice?
I'm sorry, we'll do athletics or

609
00:36:08,080 --> 00:36:09,160
acrobatics.
Your choice.

610
00:36:09,160 --> 00:36:11,800
RT Does that help you at all?
6.

611
00:36:14,840 --> 00:36:19,080
Immensely.
All right, who rolled below a

612
00:36:19,080 --> 00:36:20,840
10?
Nope.

613
00:36:21,600 --> 00:36:24,320
I got 25.
I got 10.

614
00:36:24,480 --> 00:36:26,720
What are you?
What are you, Spider Man?

615
00:36:28,080 --> 00:36:29,920
OK, 3.
Did you take your -3?

616
00:36:29,920 --> 00:36:32,880
Did you take your -3?
I didn't. 21 OK.

617
00:36:33,400 --> 00:36:34,840
Why did I do that?
It didn't help.

618
00:36:34,840 --> 00:36:35,960
Well, I suppose you got to use
it anyway.

619
00:36:36,760 --> 00:36:39,880
I got 10. 10:15 And I'm taking
that as.

620
00:36:40,600 --> 00:36:42,840
Three I I I call you bro.
All right, so everybody except

621
00:36:42,840 --> 00:36:45,880
Archie kind of does that like
hero pose, like you hit the

622
00:36:45,880 --> 00:36:49,040
ground as an Avenger.
Archie, on the other hand,

623
00:36:49,040 --> 00:36:50,640
Rowan.
Blow over.

624
00:36:51,360 --> 00:36:53,320
Well, you're going to get
blasted back and then you're

625
00:36:53,320 --> 00:36:56,240
kind of kind of kind of like
land on the back of your head.

626
00:36:56,800 --> 00:36:59,000
You're going to take 54 stamps
all.

627
00:36:59,640 --> 00:37:01,600
Right.
Is this portal magic?

628
00:37:03,240 --> 00:37:07,120
Yeah, it's magic.
Be a shame if someone dispelled

629
00:37:07,120 --> 00:37:08,320
magic while they were in there.
Oh.

630
00:37:09,560 --> 00:37:12,360
My God.
Wait a minute, you said two

631
00:37:12,360 --> 00:37:14,920
people through the portal, now
you want to dispel magic and

632
00:37:14,920 --> 00:37:17,240
just.
Be a shame if you try, if you.

633
00:37:17,400 --> 00:37:21,200
Yeah, you're not here.
Take a rest on your voice there,

634
00:37:21,200 --> 00:37:23,440
Urkel.
All right.

635
00:37:23,600 --> 00:37:25,160
Yeah, I don't know here.
That's fine.

636
00:37:25,440 --> 00:37:27,840
What's everybody else doing
except Patty and Bob?

637
00:37:28,040 --> 00:37:31,480
I'm going to get up and dust
myself off and then run and non

638
00:37:31,480 --> 00:37:33,560
magically jump into.
The portal I'm doing.

639
00:37:33,560 --> 00:37:34,480
All right.
Yeah, cool.

640
00:37:34,480 --> 00:37:36,320
Everybody else runs in.
Yeah, Running in, running in.

641
00:37:36,560 --> 00:37:38,160
I'm going to chase him
medicinely.

642
00:37:38,280 --> 00:37:40,600
I'm imagining you're going to do
like a blue Skadoo kind of

643
00:37:40,600 --> 00:37:43,200
thing.
Blue Skadoo weekend too.

644
00:37:43,200 --> 00:37:45,360
OK, so everybody runs into the
portal.

645
00:37:45,360 --> 00:37:48,040
I'm not going to make a check
for it because God help us all

646
00:37:49,280 --> 00:37:52,240
so.
God, I'm such a chaotic player.

647
00:37:52,440 --> 00:37:54,560
I love it.
This is what makes you perfect

648
00:37:54,560 --> 00:37:55,840
for a unit it.
Really is.

649
00:37:58,520 --> 00:38:01,160
Perfect.
So the air tears open like a

650
00:38:01,160 --> 00:38:06,120
page being ripped from a book.
You feel the pull of the rift

651
00:38:06,840 --> 00:38:09,560
and before you you can even see
the world on the other side.

652
00:38:09,560 --> 00:38:14,200
The sense of parchment and ozone
rushes past you as the portal

653
00:38:14,200 --> 00:38:18,520
widens, swirling with fragments
of glowing symbols, half written

654
00:38:18,520 --> 00:38:21,920
words in the distant clatter of
dice striking stone.

655
00:38:23,360 --> 00:38:25,200
The ground beneath your booth.
Booth.

656
00:38:26,400 --> 00:38:28,000
Never con.
Booth Boop.

657
00:38:28,000 --> 00:38:29,520
Boop.
Is it a hard bug?

658
00:38:29,680 --> 00:38:30,560
Booth.
I'm sorry, what?

659
00:38:30,560 --> 00:38:32,000
Is that a hard bug?
That you're saying?

660
00:38:32,760 --> 00:38:34,200
I don't know what this is
anymore.

661
00:38:34,200 --> 00:38:38,000
Apparently the ground beneath
your boots is not stone, not

662
00:38:38,000 --> 00:38:44,240
earth, but the flat face.
The flat face of a massive dye.

663
00:38:44,920 --> 00:38:47,520
It's carved numbers glow faintly
beneath your feet.

664
00:38:48,840 --> 00:38:51,520
Around you, the landscape
stretches into a jagged range of

665
00:38:51,520 --> 00:38:54,920
impossible geometry.
Towering cliffs of crystallized

666
00:38:54,920 --> 00:38:59,120
the 20s rise into the sky.
Floating platforms drift lazily

667
00:38:59,120 --> 00:39:02,160
through the air, each one a
different dye face suspended

668
00:39:02,160 --> 00:39:06,600
over a dizzying drop.
This is the dice fall mountains

669
00:39:06,840 --> 00:39:09,400
of ever con sounded.
Like Pandora?

670
00:39:12,760 --> 00:39:16,880
So we can't use that.
This place is made of paper.

671
00:39:17,720 --> 00:39:20,520
This place is made of.
Parchment.

672
00:39:20,680 --> 00:39:22,240
Oh, hold on.
Resin.

673
00:39:22,400 --> 00:39:25,200
Parchment resin, yes, little bit
of metal.

674
00:39:25,280 --> 00:39:26,280
So it's flammable.
Oh God.

675
00:39:30,320 --> 00:39:32,240
Correct.
Please don't make me waste my

676
00:39:32,280 --> 00:39:35,040
other counter spell.
Every few seconds, somewhere in

677
00:39:35,040 --> 00:39:38,800
the distance, a thunderous
clatter echoes across the valley

678
00:39:39,480 --> 00:39:43,480
as a Titanic die roll.
As a Titanic die rolls across

679
00:39:43,480 --> 00:39:46,720
another against another.
Excuse me, Shifting the terrain

680
00:39:46,720 --> 00:39:52,960
like tectonic plates of earth.
Far below, tiny wooden figures

681
00:39:52,960 --> 00:39:56,640
scramble through villages carved
into stacked board game boxes.

682
00:39:57,280 --> 00:40:02,640
A massive knight astride a
walking chess Rook marches

683
00:40:02,640 --> 00:40:06,000
across a distant Ridge.
It's metal banners snapping in

684
00:40:06,000 --> 00:40:08,920
the wind.
But something is wrong here.

685
00:40:10,080 --> 00:40:14,440
The sky seems to be churning
with unstable magic.

686
00:40:15,800 --> 00:40:19,760
Dice tumble endlessly throughout
the clouds, and arcs of wild

687
00:40:19,760 --> 00:40:22,240
energy leap between the
mountains like lightning.

688
00:40:23,560 --> 00:40:27,200
Ahead of you, on a broken
plateau of floating dice

689
00:40:27,200 --> 00:40:32,080
platforms, hooded figures gather
around a glowing tear in the

690
00:40:32,080 --> 00:40:35,320
air.
Their robes are stitched from

691
00:40:35,320 --> 00:40:38,680
scraps of parchment, an ink
stained script.

692
00:40:38,920 --> 00:40:43,480
Strange symbols flicker across
their hands as they chant in a

693
00:40:43,480 --> 00:40:46,440
language that sounds like the
turning of pages.

694
00:40:47,480 --> 00:40:50,120
This is the cult.
Of the carps.

695
00:40:51,200 --> 00:40:59,400
How far away are they?
Currently they are approximately

696
00:40:59,400 --> 00:41:02,480
as they're kind of below where
you are currently they're about

697
00:41:02,480 --> 00:41:07,080
150 feet away.
Perfect. 100 feet. 150.

698
00:41:09,600 --> 00:41:14,080
These are bad guys, right?
So he successfully cast fireball

699
00:41:14,080 --> 00:41:16,160
into this, so wouldn't I be get?
No, he did not he.

700
00:41:16,160 --> 00:41:17,720
Did not because.
He counted, yeah.

701
00:41:18,680 --> 00:41:20,160
I counters.
I successfully countered.

702
00:41:21,400 --> 00:41:23,000
Everybody else just got messed
up.

703
00:41:23,600 --> 00:41:25,320
I mean, we can certainly let
Fireball go.

704
00:41:25,320 --> 00:41:26,240
Oh, thank you.
I.

705
00:41:28,120 --> 00:41:30,200
Mean it is going to go off, just
not there.

706
00:41:31,120 --> 00:41:35,760
We believe the the cult to have
abducted Lord ever con.

707
00:41:36,800 --> 00:41:39,920
As far as you are have been made
aware by unit intelligence,

708
00:41:39,920 --> 00:41:44,840
correct?
Is do we see Lord ever con?

709
00:41:45,320 --> 00:41:47,520
Sorry, what was that?
Do we see Lord ever con?

710
00:41:47,520 --> 00:41:50,160
Sorry, what was that?
Do we see Lord ever con?

711
00:41:50,960 --> 00:41:53,880
No, you do not.
I'll tell you what, give me a

712
00:41:54,400 --> 00:41:58,080
give me a perception check.
Sure, I I can absolutely do

713
00:41:58,080 --> 00:41:59,680
that.
Nat 20.

714
00:42:00,400 --> 00:42:01,520
I'm going to make him re rule.
That.

715
00:42:02,360 --> 00:42:03,280
Really.
Yep.

716
00:42:03,400 --> 00:42:04,600
With what?
Lucky.

717
00:42:11,560 --> 00:42:17,600
Well fine then how does a 14 +
216?

718
00:42:17,640 --> 00:42:18,920
Sounds like you can't see.
Pretty good, yeah.

719
00:42:19,040 --> 00:42:20,960
You probably would.
No, you can't.

720
00:42:20,960 --> 00:42:22,480
See Lord Abercon.
OK.

721
00:42:24,520 --> 00:42:26,120
You do not see Lord Abercon.
All right.

722
00:42:27,240 --> 00:42:29,120
I got to burn one of my one of
my lucky.

723
00:42:29,200 --> 00:42:33,080
'S so one question do we know?
In fact, the things below us are

724
00:42:33,080 --> 00:42:35,040
like the enemies, right?
Jesus?

725
00:42:35,440 --> 00:42:37,120
Christ, as far as the
description that you've been

726
00:42:37,160 --> 00:42:40,920
given by unit intelligence,
these this is the cult of the

727
00:42:40,920 --> 00:42:47,800
Carps.
OK, which I cast fireballs I.

728
00:42:48,560 --> 00:42:50,520
Think we're about to do the
exact same thing.

729
00:42:52,640 --> 00:42:55,120
Are they standing on what we
believe to be parchment?

730
00:42:55,440 --> 00:42:59,080
No is parchment.
No, in the distance.

731
00:42:59,080 --> 00:43:01,320
They are made of parchment.
No, they are.

732
00:43:01,320 --> 00:43:03,640
They seem to be made of
parchment, is what he said.

733
00:43:04,480 --> 00:43:06,240
With their made of parchment.
Better.

734
00:43:07,400 --> 00:43:11,760
I like it.
I'm going to twin a fireball.

735
00:43:12,720 --> 00:43:15,400
I could twin too.
Wait, can we both twin?

736
00:43:15,960 --> 00:43:16,760
Twin.
Yeah.

737
00:43:17,720 --> 00:43:19,920
Hold on, What did I take?
No, I took.

738
00:43:19,960 --> 00:43:21,960
Oh, no, I also took Twin.
Yeah, I'm also going to twin a

739
00:43:21,960 --> 00:43:24,320
fireball. 6 fireballs.
Can.

740
00:43:24,840 --> 00:43:26,400
I get in on this.
I've also got.

741
00:43:26,640 --> 00:43:28,760
You also have good so you have
8.

742
00:43:28,760 --> 00:43:33,320
Oh you're gorgeous.
Wait, that be 6 times. 2 Because

743
00:43:33,320 --> 00:43:34,920
that's 8 fireballs.
You're doing it too?

744
00:43:35,400 --> 00:43:38,960
That's 8 fireballs.
Do you have quicken spells?

745
00:43:39,880 --> 00:43:49,080
I I have quicken spell.
I'm regretting everything.

746
00:43:49,760 --> 00:43:51,280
You gave me power.
Balls I don't.

747
00:43:51,640 --> 00:43:53,200
See everything?
You.

748
00:43:54,080 --> 00:43:56,200
Have to give it a.
While here, hold up.

749
00:43:57,880 --> 00:44:01,280
All right, stay for.
Me, I might actually have

750
00:44:01,280 --> 00:44:02,440
enough.
Dice on the ground.

751
00:44:05,640 --> 00:44:08,960
Yeah, I'm getting my D sixes.
You're not going to need butter.

752
00:44:09,000 --> 00:44:13,280
Spells I have Quicken.
I'm aware that you all have meta

753
00:44:13,280 --> 00:44:17,440
magic.
See, I've built three of these

754
00:44:17,440 --> 00:44:21,800
characters myself.
Yeah, it was your big cake.

755
00:44:23,280 --> 00:44:25,960
That's why I had you make them,
because you build it better than

756
00:44:25,960 --> 00:44:27,560
me.
OK, so.

757
00:44:27,880 --> 00:44:31,760
I'm going.
To regret saying this.

758
00:44:33,320 --> 00:44:34,560
I don't see your spells
anywhere.

759
00:44:35,160 --> 00:44:36,280
I'm spell less.
Oh, you have?

760
00:44:36,640 --> 00:44:39,400
A You have fireball.
You got mail?

761
00:44:39,440 --> 00:44:40,480
With.
No.

762
00:44:40,600 --> 00:44:42,520
Oh wait, there's more pages.
Oh, there is.

763
00:44:43,800 --> 00:44:45,040
You just have to hand them to
me.

764
00:44:45,160 --> 00:44:47,280
You have fireball.
Now I was like, I know you have

765
00:44:47,280 --> 00:44:52,160
fireballs there.
That's 10 fireballs I.

766
00:44:52,440 --> 00:44:56,760
Don't want to mean anything.
Is that it's 10.

767
00:44:56,760 --> 00:44:57,880
Fireballs.
You've.

768
00:44:58,200 --> 00:44:59,840
Never.
Seen The Terminator 2.

769
00:45:01,920 --> 00:45:05,680
Yeah, it's 5.
No, I'm aware of what's about to

770
00:45:05,680 --> 00:45:08,840
happen here.
We have to be 6.

771
00:45:09,440 --> 00:45:11,400
Yeah, it's like that times 10.
Why is there a IS?

772
00:45:11,640 --> 00:45:12,960
That.
A.

773
00:45:12,960 --> 00:45:15,480
Does it die on the ground over.
There because I was getting my

774
00:45:15,480 --> 00:45:17,880
16 D sixes.
OK, I don't want to and you?

775
00:45:17,880 --> 00:45:20,560
Spilled AD 20s.
I spilled a lot.

776
00:45:20,720 --> 00:45:22,120
Thank you very much.
I appreciate it.

777
00:45:22,360 --> 00:45:23,880
All right.
Hey, Bobo, everybody.

778
00:45:23,880 --> 00:45:31,320
Hey, good.
God, yeah, I said that.

779
00:45:31,600 --> 00:45:33,640
I'll break for that.
Yeah, hey.

780
00:45:33,760 --> 00:45:36,040
All right.
So I I guess we'll go.

781
00:45:36,120 --> 00:45:39,200
I would like to point out one of
us travelled 420 miles to be

782
00:45:39,200 --> 00:45:41,400
here.
One of us has been up since 2:00

783
00:45:41,560 --> 00:45:44,560
AM and he's just a baby.
What are you talking about?

784
00:45:44,600 --> 00:45:46,840
Oh, he's been up since 2:00.
I was like, what are you talking

785
00:45:46,840 --> 00:45:48,480
about?
We're dead asleep by 12:30. 20

786
00:45:48,640 --> 00:45:50,240
miles.
He's been up since 2:00 AM and

787
00:45:50,480 --> 00:45:53,360
he's just a Boo.
Excuse me, you encourage this

788
00:45:53,360 --> 00:45:54,600
character?
Are they from each other?

789
00:45:54,680 --> 00:45:56,720
I don't know.
Why they form?

790
00:45:56,720 --> 00:46:00,960
They're forming a circle with a
circumference of about. 2020

791
00:46:01,000 --> 00:46:03,520
feet radius.
Are they within 20 feet of each

792
00:46:03,560 --> 00:46:04,640
other?
Yeah.

793
00:46:04,920 --> 00:46:07,600
No.
I mean, we got 8 fireballs.

794
00:46:07,600 --> 00:46:10,080
Let's be real, we're going.
To yeah, that's if you oh.

795
00:46:10,120 --> 00:46:11,440
We got 10.
If the they're.

796
00:46:11,640 --> 00:46:13,120
Going How many of them are
there?

797
00:46:17,240 --> 00:46:18,440
Give me a perception check,
I'll.

798
00:46:19,280 --> 00:46:21,080
Take my should I help?
What's your passive?

799
00:46:21,200 --> 00:46:22,840
I don't know, like 15 or
something I'm.

800
00:46:23,240 --> 00:46:25,080
Going to need your real
perception.

801
00:46:25,080 --> 00:46:28,960
You're about 150 feet away.
Exactly 100 and. 50 feet.

802
00:46:30,440 --> 00:46:32,320
Does it count if I caught it
down a 20?

803
00:46:32,840 --> 00:46:34,040
No.
Not try though.

804
00:46:34,560 --> 00:46:37,400
I got a Nat 20 per percent it.
Does my Nat 20 count?

805
00:46:39,560 --> 00:46:44,200
Man.
Why didn't he roll the same

806
00:46:44,200 --> 00:46:45,760
numbers all the time?
All the time.

807
00:46:45,960 --> 00:46:48,120
Because you 2 are like one of
the same person.

808
00:46:50,880 --> 00:46:55,720
There appeared to be in.
Total approximately 50 of them.

809
00:46:56,160 --> 00:46:58,560
50 of them.
How far apart like?

810
00:47:00,520 --> 00:47:03,040
After 10 fireballs, how many of?
Them, yeah.

811
00:47:04,640 --> 00:47:07,040
We hit with 10 fireballs.
How many of them aren't going to

812
00:47:07,040 --> 00:47:09,320
be immediately incinerated?
I mean they are paper.

813
00:47:12,760 --> 00:47:14,840
Who else has fireballs?
Everybody has.

814
00:47:15,000 --> 00:47:18,560
Fireballs.
Is this kind of a surprise?

815
00:47:18,640 --> 00:47:21,440
Round I love this spell.
Yeah, this will absolutely count

816
00:47:21,440 --> 00:47:23,240
as a surprise round.
Let's roll initiative.

817
00:47:23,400 --> 00:47:25,280
Well, hold on.
Let's finish our surprise round.

818
00:47:26,720 --> 00:47:28,640
Yeah, you'll get there.
OK.

819
00:47:28,920 --> 00:47:30,560
OK, everybody go ahead and roll
initiative.

820
00:47:31,240 --> 00:47:31,680
Yeah, OK.
I.

821
00:47:32,360 --> 00:47:35,680
Don't know where.
I have to do not have fireball.

822
00:47:35,680 --> 00:47:37,480
Thank.
God Nope.

823
00:47:38,840 --> 00:47:40,160
Oh well.
I've got Dragons.

824
00:47:40,280 --> 00:47:42,040
That's.
Another 19 I.

825
00:47:42,200 --> 00:47:43,240
Bless.
That you.

826
00:47:43,360 --> 00:47:47,760
Made it go to a 2, that's
better.

827
00:47:47,760 --> 00:47:50,600
Oh I got 17.
Wait I have to lie 27?

828
00:47:50,600 --> 00:47:53,560
I don't get math.
I can't.

829
00:47:59,320 --> 00:48:01,080
Oh, dear Lord, have mercy.
All right.

830
00:48:01,080 --> 00:48:02,760
Well, I mean, I don't know why
I'm taking.

831
00:48:02,760 --> 00:48:04,400
It I think you mean, dear Lord,
never.

832
00:48:04,680 --> 00:48:06,840
Come 4 seconds.
Have mercy, Mercy.

833
00:48:07,880 --> 00:48:10,480
Or the Galaxy backpack.
Have mercy on dear Bob.

834
00:48:10,520 --> 00:48:12,240
Can't see him, so we don't know
where that man is.

835
00:48:12,720 --> 00:48:15,000
Hold on, what?
If one of them is Lord ever

836
00:48:15,000 --> 00:48:17,960
come?
Go away, wait too late.

837
00:48:17,960 --> 00:48:19,680
It happens.
I mean did.

838
00:48:19,920 --> 00:48:21,000
You say credit.
Happens.

839
00:48:21,840 --> 00:48:25,120
OK.
We'll go down the order 20 not.

840
00:48:25,880 --> 00:48:26,520
20.
Seven.

841
00:48:26,520 --> 00:48:28,440
I got 23.
Jesus Christ.

842
00:48:30,560 --> 00:48:32,920
You know I'm quickening another
fireball after this.

843
00:48:33,120 --> 00:48:35,720
I'm just throwing this out here.
This is just our unit

844
00:48:36,120 --> 00:48:37,760
characters.
If you listen to our regular

845
00:48:37,800 --> 00:48:40,840
podcast, we're so overpowered
it's kind of stupid.

846
00:48:41,760 --> 00:48:54,640
This is just normal stuff.
201918171615. 15. 1414, 13.

847
00:48:54,640 --> 00:48:55,640
It's me.
I'm the problem.

848
00:48:55,640 --> 00:48:58,640
It's me.
God I should counter.

849
00:48:59,400 --> 00:49:02,360
Smell one of you 12 to 11.
How do you cross a leg?

850
00:49:02,360 --> 00:49:06,400
10 legs on skirt, 76 Hold on.
Is that everybody with my

851
00:49:06,440 --> 00:49:07,280
mission?
Shorts under it.

852
00:49:07,280 --> 00:49:11,480
You can just kind of go, oh,
thirteen.

853
00:49:11,720 --> 00:49:14,400
Sorry, 13 you are.
Dad, you it's.

854
00:49:14,920 --> 00:49:16,240
Pretty close.
You and I are.

855
00:49:16,360 --> 00:49:18,640
Patty and Kenzie, who's got the
higher decks?

856
00:49:18,960 --> 00:49:23,200
Oh.
I've got +2 as well.

857
00:49:23,320 --> 00:49:25,200
Fourteen.
Yeah, I got 14 + 2.

858
00:49:25,440 --> 00:49:27,000
Wait, is it same?
Is that fair?

859
00:49:27,000 --> 00:49:28,120
Yeah, we're getting the same
decks.

860
00:49:28,120 --> 00:49:30,680
I'm going to try.
Yeah, I'm going to make you 2GO

861
00:49:30,680 --> 00:49:34,320
on the same initiative.
All right, hold.

862
00:49:34,320 --> 00:49:37,680
On what'd you roll?
What was that?

863
00:49:37,680 --> 00:49:39,600
What did he throwing?
Not.

864
00:49:39,840 --> 00:49:43,920
A prime damn.
All right, we're going to start

865
00:49:43,920 --> 00:49:47,640
with Jesse.
Again, how many can like?

866
00:49:47,760 --> 00:49:52,680
How far apart are they they're I
assume they're on one of these

867
00:49:52,720 --> 00:49:55,200
floating plateaus.
Fireball.

868
00:49:55,200 --> 00:50:00,240
It's got a 20 foot radius.
What you all don't know is that

869
00:50:00,240 --> 00:50:04,880
Spencer is currently looking up
exactly what he needs to not

870
00:50:05,040 --> 00:50:08,520
lose everything in one.
Go they're they're about 21 feet

871
00:50:08,520 --> 00:50:11,800
apart.
OK, so I'll hit 49 of them.

872
00:50:13,200 --> 00:50:15,280
The one that's standing over
there, he can live.

873
00:50:16,200 --> 00:50:18,880
Oh, he's so graciously allowed
to live.

874
00:50:18,880 --> 00:50:21,320
Wait.
Wait, what about like the what's

875
00:50:21,320 --> 00:50:22,720
that?
What's that where like the

876
00:50:22,720 --> 00:50:24,400
backdraft where like pulls you
in?

877
00:50:25,240 --> 00:50:28,280
You know what?
I'm going to target 1 here and

878
00:50:28,280 --> 00:50:32,960
one here, so I hit 49 of them
twice.

879
00:50:33,960 --> 00:50:38,440
Sorry, 48 of them twice and two
of them once each they're.

880
00:50:41,680 --> 00:50:45,040
Going to be like ow, oh, you're.
All dead I sick death.

881
00:50:45,040 --> 00:50:49,400
Death just happened.
I'm not even going to make you

882
00:50:49,400 --> 00:50:51,240
guys real damage.
Go ahead and.

883
00:50:51,240 --> 00:50:58,440
Get 62 damage.
I broke your pen.

884
00:50:58,440 --> 00:51:01,920
I'm very sorry.
I got it caught on my ring and

885
00:51:01,920 --> 00:51:04,680
it broke.
Yeah, yeah, they're.

886
00:51:04,880 --> 00:51:06,320
Spencer's a dirty pen breaker.
They're.

887
00:51:06,480 --> 00:51:11,480
Up there, No, they're not.
These are the microphones.

888
00:51:12,160 --> 00:51:13,360
I don't know where the balls
went.

889
00:51:13,360 --> 00:51:14,680
They're here.
So she wants the.

890
00:51:14,680 --> 00:51:16,760
Balls.
Who gets to roll next?

891
00:51:16,760 --> 00:51:17,880
Is it?
Gene, we're not even.

892
00:51:18,080 --> 00:51:20,880
Rolling.
I don't know.

893
00:51:20,880 --> 00:51:22,360
I would talk.
To you say it.

894
00:51:22,480 --> 00:51:26,000
All right, so here's The thing
is I'm because you are you're

895
00:51:26,600 --> 00:51:28,400
who's doubling the fireballs.
We're all.

896
00:51:28,400 --> 00:51:30,600
Doubling there's. 10 fireballs.
There's ten of them.

897
00:51:30,680 --> 00:51:34,960
I need you to roll well, not you
roll. 100 and something.

898
00:51:34,960 --> 00:51:36,760
Damaged.
I'm going to need somebody took.

899
00:51:37,040 --> 00:51:38,320
One of our.
I'll do it.

900
00:51:38,320 --> 00:51:42,120
Do you want to roll 10 Wild
magic surges?

901
00:51:42,640 --> 00:51:45,120
Oh no, we we should spray it out
so.

902
00:51:45,600 --> 00:51:48,720
Everybody starting with Jesse.
Starting with Jesse, I need you

903
00:51:48,720 --> 00:51:51,280
to roll 2 D 20s.
Jesus wept.

904
00:51:52,080 --> 00:51:53,800
What's that?
I'm rolling 60D6.

905
00:51:54,960 --> 00:51:59,800
You're literally buttoned.
Go ahead.

906
00:52:02,160 --> 00:52:04,400
Go ahead and take an inspiration
for that.

907
00:52:07,120 --> 00:52:10,080
Wait, I'm going.
To go around 2, I mean that's.

908
00:52:10,920 --> 00:52:12,960
All right, so that's one wild
magic surge so far.

909
00:52:12,960 --> 00:52:16,720
Oh, are you doing that?
Yeah, I'm going to lucky on my

910
00:52:16,720 --> 00:52:20,200
first one that wasn't a prime.
OK, 7.

911
00:52:20,320 --> 00:52:23,720
I hate my life.
OK, two wild magic surges.

912
00:52:23,720 --> 00:52:25,840
Gene, go ahead and roll me two D
20s.

913
00:52:26,320 --> 00:52:34,520
OK, that's.
Hang on one. 5 and a two.

914
00:52:37,040 --> 00:52:38,320
That's a really shitty roll,
that prime number.

915
00:52:38,720 --> 00:52:40,760
That's not.
Thank you.

916
00:52:41,240 --> 00:52:42,800
I wasn't very good at math.
OK, you.

917
00:52:43,760 --> 00:52:46,200
Named all the prime numbers at
the beginning of this on the top

918
00:52:46,200 --> 00:52:48,520
of your head.
It was on my script all right.

919
00:52:49,480 --> 00:52:51,880
Wait, what was your second roll?
OK, it's fine A.

920
00:52:52,040 --> 00:52:54,720
Two, I'm going to lucky.
How many lucky points do?

921
00:52:54,720 --> 00:52:57,800
You have, I have 3.
That would be your third one and

922
00:52:57,800 --> 00:53:01,520
you've literally you haven't
even gotten to the main part

923
00:53:01,520 --> 00:53:02,920
yet.
Out of yours, I'll use one of my

924
00:53:02,920 --> 00:53:05,200
luckies.
I forgot I gave.

925
00:53:05,200 --> 00:53:08,680
You I have halfling luck. 15.
Not all right.

926
00:53:08,800 --> 00:53:12,720
So all right, Bob, go ahead and
roll me two D 20s. 11:00 and

927
00:53:12,720 --> 00:53:16,520
12:00 there's.
Another one all right, Archie.

928
00:53:19,040 --> 00:53:24,000
16 and 20.
Neither I am.

929
00:53:24,360 --> 00:53:28,360
However, I am going to say with
your natural 20 that the magic

930
00:53:28,360 --> 00:53:31,040
kind of stabilizes around you
and will remove one of the wild

931
00:53:31,040 --> 00:53:32,520
magic surges all.
Right.

932
00:53:33,680 --> 00:53:36,680
Patty and Kenzie, I need 2 D 20s
right now at the same time.

933
00:53:36,680 --> 00:53:38,800
Baby, you're going to go roll
the big ones, aren't you?

934
00:53:38,800 --> 00:53:40,320
No.
I'm not.

935
00:53:42,800 --> 00:53:44,720
Oh my God.
Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait.

936
00:53:45,240 --> 00:53:49,120
Wait, I can't let the dinner.
You have two.

937
00:53:49,120 --> 00:53:51,840
D 20s.
I, I what are you doing?

938
00:53:52,120 --> 00:53:54,960
All right.
All right, 123 go.

939
00:53:58,000 --> 00:54:01,200
Two and a six. 12 and a three.
Hey there we.

940
00:54:01,480 --> 00:54:03,960
Go count.
I just really wanted to use that

941
00:54:03,960 --> 00:54:05,600
cool dice tower.
And I'm all right.

942
00:54:06,040 --> 00:54:10,680
I need a member of the audience
to come up and roll 2 D 20s.

943
00:54:11,000 --> 00:54:13,520
Thank you for four times.
She needed a babysitter.

944
00:54:13,520 --> 00:54:16,400
Who wants to come up and do it?
Get up.

945
00:54:16,440 --> 00:54:17,920
Here.
Get up here.

946
00:54:18,000 --> 00:54:21,080
Come on.
Roll dice.

947
00:54:21,440 --> 00:54:23,040
Roll dice.
Roll dice.

948
00:54:23,640 --> 00:54:25,600
All right, roll those two D 20s.
Yeah.

949
00:54:26,040 --> 00:54:26,760
Anybody else?
Yeah.

950
00:54:26,880 --> 00:54:28,120
Yeah, yeah.
Oh yeah.

951
00:54:28,280 --> 00:54:29,640
Let's.
Everybody can roll 1.

952
00:54:29,800 --> 00:54:31,400
Don't we have to do like 3
rounds of this?

953
00:54:31,440 --> 00:54:33,960
Four of them, actually. 4 OK.
All right, all right, go ahead

954
00:54:33,960 --> 00:54:34,360
and roll.
We're.

955
00:54:34,360 --> 00:54:35,760
Going to do it four times?
Go ahead.

956
00:54:39,560 --> 00:54:41,840
One.
I like it. 56.

957
00:54:42,080 --> 00:54:44,000
I like it go.
Ahead and roll again.

958
00:54:45,040 --> 00:54:47,440
No, you're out of luck.
Yeah, he used. 10 he used.

959
00:54:47,480 --> 00:54:49,320
One good number, good number,
good number.

960
00:54:49,960 --> 00:54:54,600
Double 20 Double. 20s we're.
Not playing whammy 1717.

961
00:54:54,600 --> 00:54:55,280
All right, go again.
Oops.

962
00:54:56,880 --> 00:54:59,440
Come on, Double 20s.
Double 20s is not going to be

963
00:54:59,440 --> 00:55:01,120
good for you guys.
I just got to stay there right

964
00:55:01,120 --> 00:55:06,120
now, 12.
And. 20. 4/24/24 All right, one

965
00:55:06,120 --> 00:55:09,120
more time and they helped.
Make it big.

966
00:55:09,120 --> 00:55:12,400
They.
Helped. 60.

967
00:55:13,960 --> 00:55:18,640
Yes, 17.
We'll call that one touch 6. 23

968
00:55:19,120 --> 00:55:21,400
All right, All right, Thank you
very much, both of you.

969
00:55:21,440 --> 00:55:29,720
Thank you very much.
Just to make sure that just to

970
00:55:29,800 --> 00:55:33,520
proof that this is not scripted
and not what happened, my

971
00:55:33,520 --> 00:55:36,000
assistant Kyle, go ahead and
read number six on the Wild

972
00:55:36,000 --> 00:55:39,960
Magic Surge.
Fireball arrow spell the last

973
00:55:39,960 --> 00:55:42,800
don't catch the music cast.
Again at the same target.

974
00:55:44,800 --> 00:55:46,720
With no.
Slot lost.

975
00:55:49,200 --> 00:55:51,960
I will do a head rule miss wild
magic surge.

976
00:55:54,040 --> 00:55:56,800
That's a 30.
I just realized this is probably

977
00:55:56,880 --> 00:55:58,720
really loud in my microphone.
I'm sorry.

978
00:55:58,960 --> 00:55:59,760
That's fine.
I'll be.

979
00:55:59,760 --> 00:56:03,720
I'll be able to cut it down all
right. 17.

980
00:56:06,200 --> 00:56:09,040
All right, have any of you used
sorcery points yet?

981
00:56:09,640 --> 00:56:11,960
Technically everybody who used
Quinn spell did.

982
00:56:12,320 --> 00:56:14,720
Yep.
If I get them back.

983
00:56:14,800 --> 00:56:17,680
How many sorcery points would
put all of you up to full?

984
00:56:18,360 --> 00:56:20,520
I mean I.
You would need all 33.

985
00:56:20,640 --> 00:56:23,040
Twins 3, right?
It's twin three, yeah.

986
00:56:23,040 --> 00:56:26,800
OK, Everybody will go ahead and
retain 3 sorcery points.

987
00:56:28,360 --> 00:56:31,240
Man, talk about costing nothing
to do something.

988
00:56:31,520 --> 00:56:34,480
All of those fireballs happen
again.

989
00:56:34,960 --> 00:56:37,600
No, just the last.
One the one person that passed

990
00:56:37,600 --> 00:56:38,680
it.
Sorry.

991
00:56:39,000 --> 00:56:40,280
In which case that.
Was.

992
00:56:40,600 --> 00:56:42,320
Very no.
Then the whole realm is going to

993
00:56:42,320 --> 00:56:48,200
go up in flames 10 because we've
already had 10 fireballs, which

994
00:56:48,200 --> 00:56:51,520
is about 12 more than I was
hoping for in the 1st 10.

995
00:56:51,520 --> 00:56:52,920
Minutes.
Just wait.

996
00:56:52,920 --> 00:56:55,160
When we when we get to the boss,
there'll be 10.

997
00:56:55,160 --> 00:57:02,720
More Can you rule 66 D 6 please?
All right, all of you do.

998
00:57:03,720 --> 00:57:07,560
It.
As Bob, No.

999
00:57:08,840 --> 00:57:11,480
Shut up.
Yeah, as Bob, you cast your

1000
00:57:11,480 --> 00:57:17,480
fireball, you all of a sudden,
all 5 of you, all six of you

1001
00:57:19,200 --> 00:57:22,160
move 30 feet forward.
Oh, guess.

1002
00:57:23,520 --> 00:57:25,320
Wait a minute, is that off the?
Ledge No.

1003
00:57:25,840 --> 00:57:29,120
I wish.
Oh thank God, how far would?

1004
00:57:29,120 --> 00:57:30,360
It have.
To be off the ledge.

1005
00:57:30,960 --> 00:57:37,680
Like 75 feet.
How close are we to the ledge?

1006
00:57:38,640 --> 00:57:40,920
75.
Feet next.

1007
00:57:40,920 --> 00:57:42,680
Push somebody off the ledge with
35.

1008
00:57:43,360 --> 00:57:45,200
Feet.
All of you gain mirror image for

1009
00:57:45,200 --> 00:57:46,600
one minute.
Cool mirror image.

1010
00:57:46,840 --> 00:57:47,320
For a.
Minute.

1011
00:57:47,360 --> 00:57:53,240
There you got it.
Finally, my unfortunate 30 of

1012
00:57:53,240 --> 00:57:55,800
it.
Like the effect of it?

1013
00:57:56,280 --> 00:58:03,200
Is everyone of you For the next
hour, grow the most magnificent

1014
00:58:03,560 --> 00:58:05,840
beard you've ever seen in your
life.

1015
00:58:05,840 --> 00:58:11,640
Yes, I've always wanted.
One hour sweet beard, this is.

1016
00:58:11,680 --> 00:58:15,200
One hour, sweet beard.
All I can think of is that song

1017
00:58:15,200 --> 00:58:16,880
from The Greatest Showman.
Hold on.

1018
00:58:17,920 --> 00:58:21,360
This is the greatest beard.
No, but my mirror image doesn't

1019
00:58:21,360 --> 00:58:22,760
have a beard because I got the
beard.

1020
00:58:22,840 --> 00:58:28,440
After.
Yes, however your mirror image

1021
00:58:28,440 --> 00:58:32,160
almost in in an attempt to look
as tool and magnificent as you

1022
00:58:32,520 --> 00:58:36,760
does that kind of like noise
where it's just like as it tries

1023
00:58:36,760 --> 00:58:40,440
to grow a beard and he blows an
eye.

1024
00:58:41,000 --> 00:58:42,600
Like SpongeBob when he said to
be a man.

1025
00:58:45,880 --> 00:58:47,160
That happened.
That'll happen.

1026
00:58:47,280 --> 00:58:48,200
That will happen I.
Don't know.

1027
00:58:48,400 --> 00:58:49,920
I'm sure this is a.
Great, I've tried your.

1028
00:58:50,080 --> 00:58:55,960
Tops in rattle.
All right, so oh, Oh yeah, by

1029
00:58:55,960 --> 00:58:57,600
the way.
Spencer, I'm sorry you took the.

1030
00:58:57,600 --> 00:59:00,840
Recordings.
You've committed quite a war

1031
00:59:00,840 --> 00:59:03,920
crime here.
You've committed quite a war

1032
00:59:03,920 --> 00:59:06,360
crime.
Here do we know this I mean.

1033
00:59:06,880 --> 00:59:08,320
You know it A.
War crime the.

1034
00:59:09,560 --> 00:59:12,040
First time, right?
But they did it nine additional

1035
00:59:12,040 --> 00:59:15,040
times.
Now it's a.

1036
00:59:15,040 --> 00:59:16,840
War.
Now it's a war.

1037
00:59:16,840 --> 00:59:20,600
Do it again, it's a war crime.
So here's.

1038
00:59:20,600 --> 00:59:24,440
The Geneva Convention here.
I mean, Geneva doesn't exist

1039
00:59:24,440 --> 00:59:25,640
here, so it's not a.
War crime.

1040
00:59:25,720 --> 00:59:28,040
It's not a war crime.
You know what?

1041
00:59:28,400 --> 00:59:30,320
You got me on a technicality.
Fine.

1042
00:59:30,320 --> 00:59:33,160
You committed the most beautiful
murder that you've ever seen in

1043
00:59:33,160 --> 00:59:34,360
your life.
Did they all die?

1044
00:59:34,520 --> 00:59:36,560
They all?
What do you mean did they all

1045
00:59:36,560 --> 00:59:39,360
die?
They took.

1046
00:59:39,400 --> 00:59:43,880
The equivalent of 7 nukes.
We just like piano, snapped we.

1047
00:59:45,360 --> 00:59:47,080
Just dusted them in a.
Heartbeat.

1048
00:59:47,160 --> 00:59:49,120
In fact, we're Thanos and we
just went.

1049
00:59:49,400 --> 00:59:50,440
And.
They're gone.

1050
00:59:51,360 --> 00:59:55,520
Good news is, and that's what it
takes to save time, all of you

1051
00:59:55,520 --> 00:59:58,520
just skipped the entire first
encounter, so congratulations.

1052
00:59:58,520 --> 01:00:00,520
So you kind of listen.
Maybe we should have left one of

1053
01:00:00,520 --> 01:00:03,120
them alive.
Nah, damn.

1054
01:00:03,120 --> 01:00:05,880
Well, what?
Is there any like scraps of

1055
01:00:05,880 --> 01:00:06,880
paper left that we can?
Run.

1056
01:00:06,880 --> 01:00:07,480
Are we?
Are we still?

1057
01:00:07,480 --> 01:00:10,040
Good with them.
OK.

1058
01:00:11,440 --> 01:00:15,800
Kind of.
So for those of you that just

1059
01:00:15,800 --> 01:00:18,320
didn't hear that, one of our
lovely audience members just

1060
01:00:18,320 --> 01:00:22,800
said Fireball is probably enough
to melt resin and pronounce.

1061
01:00:22,800 --> 01:00:26,480
She she, she's absolutely right.
Yes, Sir.

1062
01:00:26,720 --> 01:00:31,920
Wait, what kind of resin?
One of them.

1063
01:00:31,920 --> 01:00:33,960
The dead people that we just.
Is it?

1064
01:00:34,040 --> 01:00:37,320
Is it?
There's nothing left.

1065
01:00:37,440 --> 01:00:40,760
OK, Yeah.
You just once I can't reiterate

1066
01:00:40,760 --> 01:00:43,560
that maybe 1 fireball went
enough to take out half of them.

1067
01:00:43,760 --> 01:00:47,200
You naked an entire city.
That's fair.

1068
01:00:47,320 --> 01:00:52,280
It's like Hiroshima.
The sunset twice snapped him the

1069
01:00:52,320 --> 01:00:53,520
sunset twice.
Why?

1070
01:00:53,600 --> 01:00:55,600
You know, You know what?
Jesus Christ.

1071
01:00:56,120 --> 01:00:58,240
I'm just going to walk to the
middle of our group and kind of

1072
01:00:58,240 --> 01:01:00,040
like put my hand up for a high
5I.

1073
01:01:00,280 --> 01:01:02,080
Like poke it.
Hold on, hold on, give me a

1074
01:01:02,080 --> 01:01:04,840
Charisma check.
Oh, can I do it?

1075
01:01:05,440 --> 01:01:07,280
That's funny.
Oh, I'm doing it.

1076
01:01:08,040 --> 01:01:09,760
Yeah.
Yeah.

1077
01:01:09,840 --> 01:01:12,840
So you'll all give them a high 5
and everybody will gain an

1078
01:01:12,840 --> 01:01:17,560
inspiration.
Yes, sick.

1079
01:01:19,720 --> 01:01:22,680
Or for the high 5.
Yeah, I should punish you for

1080
01:01:22,680 --> 01:01:25,720
the fireballs, but I'm going to
be a benevolent DM here tonight,

1081
01:01:29,000 --> 01:01:33,360
OK, so.
Has it been a minute yet?

1082
01:01:34,440 --> 01:01:36,280
Yeah, it's absolutely been a
minute.

1083
01:01:36,400 --> 01:01:40,880
Yeah, you weren't in combat.
You again, I can't reiterate the

1084
01:01:41,320 --> 01:01:45,640
the hell you unleashed on these.
Creatures.

1085
01:01:45,840 --> 01:01:49,320
Were they innocent?
I mean, I didn't say that

1086
01:01:49,360 --> 01:01:52,400
exactly.
So it's a win.

1087
01:01:53,200 --> 01:01:56,960
You basically did the equivalent
of open a lava pool above that.

1088
01:01:57,360 --> 01:02:00,840
Yeah.
I don't.

1089
01:02:00,840 --> 01:02:04,920
Understand.
I don't understand the problem.

1090
01:02:07,440 --> 01:02:10,320
So as you continue on, there's
absolutely a trail.

1091
01:02:10,320 --> 01:02:12,880
It gets a little bit murky
towards the the melted resin.

1092
01:02:13,280 --> 01:02:14,800
They would say no audience, no
crime.

1093
01:02:15,120 --> 01:02:16,240
Great.
This is no crime.

1094
01:02:16,440 --> 01:02:19,800
Like a true war criminal.
All right, so this is gross.

1095
01:02:20,520 --> 01:02:25,320
So you continue on.
There's absolutely a trail of

1096
01:02:25,320 --> 01:02:26,760
sorts.
It's it gets a little bit murky

1097
01:02:26,760 --> 01:02:30,800
towards, you know, the, the
crater you've just induced in

1098
01:02:30,800 --> 01:02:35,000
the, the resin kind of, you
know, area of the of I think

1099
01:02:36,640 --> 01:02:38,080
that's wrong.
What'd you say?

1100
01:02:38,400 --> 01:02:39,000
Nothing.
Shut up.

1101
01:02:39,000 --> 01:02:42,800
You got it.
We know how to spell.

1102
01:02:43,640 --> 01:02:52,840
So you continue on until you
reach a a tower or Chamber of

1103
01:02:52,840 --> 01:02:58,840
sorts.
And what does that say?

1104
01:02:59,600 --> 01:03:03,640
No audience, no crime, maybe?
What does that say?

1105
01:03:03,640 --> 01:03:05,000
Dice?
Well, we didn't know if we

1106
01:03:05,000 --> 01:03:08,760
spelled the audience right.
Dice fall equals Pandora.

1107
01:03:09,040 --> 01:03:12,280
Dice fall equals Pandora.
She's taking notes.

1108
01:03:12,680 --> 01:03:16,960
I am so as the marker as the
last.

1109
01:03:16,960 --> 01:03:23,520
Cultists melt their parchment
robes are a completely

1110
01:03:23,520 --> 01:03:24,960
obliterated Chard.
They're.

1111
01:03:25,600 --> 01:03:30,440
Cremated with them.
Across the glowing face of the

1112
01:03:30,440 --> 01:03:34,480
resin beneath their feet.
And I reiterate, glowing as in

1113
01:03:34,680 --> 01:03:36,840
molten.
What does it smell like?

1114
01:03:37,240 --> 01:03:40,680
It smells like you just burned.
Burned an entire city.

1115
01:03:40,720 --> 01:03:42,520
Is it a stump?
Smelled like burnt hair.

1116
01:03:43,360 --> 01:03:49,000
Burnt hair, skin, meat anyway.
We did good things here today,

1117
01:03:49,000 --> 01:03:50,920
folks.
I mean, I got some ashes at

1118
01:03:50,920 --> 01:03:51,240
home.
There.

1119
01:03:51,240 --> 01:03:54,440
Are you saying that out loud?
I need a deception check please.

1120
01:03:55,280 --> 01:03:58,760
But he's not.
I believe that to be true.

1121
01:03:58,760 --> 01:04:02,760
Is it deceptive?
Everybody give me an insight

1122
01:04:02,760 --> 01:04:08,320
check other than Jessie.
I for sure think.

1123
01:04:08,440 --> 01:04:09,240
What did you do?
You roll.

1124
01:04:09,240 --> 01:04:14,360
What did you roll over there?
I rolled in 19 + 524. 20.

1125
01:04:15,080 --> 01:04:16,680
One what?
Are we rolling inside?

1126
01:04:18,040 --> 01:04:21,680
13 if you need it.
I got a 26.

1127
01:04:22,040 --> 01:04:23,360
Wait, I didn't ask you to roll.
What do you?

1128
01:04:23,560 --> 01:04:27,600
Want. 19 You all believe him.
Of course we could, because we

1129
01:04:27,600 --> 01:04:28,280
didn't.
Go out to.

1130
01:04:28,280 --> 01:04:32,040
Believe.
That you just melted an entire

1131
01:04:32,320 --> 01:04:35,120
ancestry of people.
To accomplish a mission.

1132
01:04:35,640 --> 01:04:37,040
It's called genocide.
We are one.

1133
01:04:37,080 --> 01:04:38,720
Thank you, that was the word I
was looking.

1134
01:04:38,760 --> 01:04:39,680
For wait.
Wait, wait.

1135
01:04:39,800 --> 01:04:42,000
If they don't exist anymore,
have they ever existed?

1136
01:04:42,000 --> 01:04:42,280
Yes.
What?

1137
01:04:42,480 --> 01:04:46,720
Do.
You mean is there a cat in that

1138
01:04:46,720 --> 01:04:48,920
box or not?
Is the cat alive?

1139
01:04:48,960 --> 01:04:52,360
There is the Cat in the Hat.
Is there a cat in the box and is

1140
01:04:52,360 --> 01:04:54,040
it alive but?
Is there a problem?

1141
01:04:54,240 --> 01:04:55,880
You know, if you don't open the
box.

1142
01:04:56,360 --> 01:04:58,280
Is there any books even about
these people it?

1143
01:04:58,520 --> 01:05:00,000
Was one of them named
Schrodinger?

1144
01:05:00,040 --> 01:05:02,280
I need you to roll me a
Dexterity check to dodge the

1145
01:05:02,280 --> 01:05:04,040
sniper that's now aimed at your
head.

1146
01:05:04,040 --> 01:05:06,120
And can you prove it?
Counter.

1147
01:05:06,120 --> 01:05:10,480
Spell Counterspell.
It's a weapon counter.

1148
01:05:10,480 --> 01:05:14,400
Weapon.
Counter weapon to block?

1149
01:05:14,400 --> 01:05:16,000
What are you doing jumping in
front of him?

1150
01:05:16,040 --> 01:05:17,960
I'm pushing him down under the
ground.

1151
01:05:18,360 --> 01:05:20,120
Get down.
OK, so I'm going to find Lord

1152
01:05:20,120 --> 01:05:22,600
Africa now.
Let's.

1153
01:05:23,040 --> 01:05:25,400
Are there any survivors?
No.

1154
01:05:27,080 --> 01:05:30,680
How many times can I reiterate?
I just find a marshmallow and I

1155
01:05:30,680 --> 01:05:32,280
start roasting on the end of my
watch.

1156
01:05:32,680 --> 01:05:34,000
Everything.
Is definitely.

1157
01:05:34,000 --> 01:05:35,000
Gonna get that.
One through.

1158
01:05:37,480 --> 01:05:39,160
And.
Like burnt skin and.

1159
01:05:39,400 --> 01:05:40,920
Just for a moment.
Danger.

1160
01:05:41,400 --> 01:05:42,640
The.
Dicer zone we have.

1161
01:05:43,160 --> 01:05:44,920
OK, take it easy there,
Maverick.

1162
01:05:44,920 --> 01:05:47,080
All right.
Danger Will Robinson.

1163
01:05:47,800 --> 01:05:50,000
We have 29 minutes.
Really, guys?

1164
01:05:50,400 --> 01:05:51,960
Yeah, we gotta, we gotta rain it
in.

1165
01:05:52,040 --> 01:05:55,640
So.
For a moment the dice fall.

1166
01:05:55,640 --> 01:06:00,760
Mountains grow quiet.
Then the ground shifts.

1167
01:06:01,760 --> 01:06:04,840
The floating platforms are kind
of drifting apart, like pieces

1168
01:06:04,840 --> 01:06:08,080
of a board being reset.
A spiral staircase of hovering D

1169
01:06:08,080 --> 01:06:11,800
sixes rises slowly from the
broken battlefield, forming a

1170
01:06:11,800 --> 01:06:15,480
path upward toward the thin
mountain air.

1171
01:06:16,320 --> 01:06:20,120
At the top of the staircase, an
enormous tower pierces the

1172
01:06:20,120 --> 01:06:25,040
clouds, the convention Spire.
Convention Spire, yes.

1173
01:06:26,280 --> 01:06:30,320
It's walls are made of
shimmering crystal panels that

1174
01:06:30,320 --> 01:06:32,880
look eerily like stacked
character sheets.

1175
01:06:34,560 --> 01:06:35,480
Stacked character.
Sheets.

1176
01:06:35,480 --> 01:06:40,160
Every so often glowing lines
appear across them, as if some

1177
01:06:40,200 --> 01:06:44,720
some unseen hand is writing and
rewriting the rules of this

1178
01:06:44,720 --> 01:06:47,240
world.
As you begin to climb and

1179
01:06:47,240 --> 01:06:52,080
approach the tower's entrance,
the massive doors swing open

1180
01:06:52,080 --> 01:06:55,880
with a deep echo that sounds
suspiciously like a box of dice

1181
01:06:55,880 --> 01:06:59,440
being dumped across the floor.
No, I don't.

1182
01:06:59,600 --> 01:07:02,560
Think, There you go.
I really thought you were going

1183
01:07:02,560 --> 01:07:04,960
to go for it there.
I almost picked up all these and

1184
01:07:04,960 --> 01:07:07,680
just went.
Yeah, you.

1185
01:07:08,280 --> 01:07:10,920
Did no I got another one by my
feet 2.

1186
01:07:11,600 --> 01:07:13,120
That's four damage to you so far
it's.

1187
01:07:13,600 --> 01:07:15,840
Not pride.
No, it's damage to her.

1188
01:07:16,120 --> 01:07:18,040
It's.
Tutu as she falls off the off.

1189
01:07:18,880 --> 01:07:20,880
That was probably really long,
I'm sorry.

1190
01:07:22,400 --> 01:07:26,760
Inside, the air feels strangely
quiet.

1191
01:07:26,760 --> 01:07:32,080
Not like the peaceful quiet of a
library, almost the uneasy quiet

1192
01:07:32,080 --> 01:07:34,840
of a story that has forgotten
how to continue.

1193
01:07:35,000 --> 01:07:38,640
Nothing is quiet with us.
You step into a vast circular

1194
01:07:38,640 --> 01:07:41,640
chainsaw.
Flogging throughout the room are

1195
01:07:41,680 --> 01:07:44,240
glowing fragments of unfinished
narratives.

1196
01:07:44,800 --> 01:07:47,240
Words drift through the air like
embers from a fire.

1197
01:07:47,240 --> 01:07:51,240
Ghostly scenes flicker in and
out of existence across the

1198
01:07:51,240 --> 01:07:55,120
chamber walls.
A dragon lands in the village

1199
01:07:55,120 --> 01:08:00,480
square, then freezes mid roar.
A knight raises their sword to

1200
01:08:00,520 --> 01:08:04,400
face a monster, and the image
shatters like glass.

1201
01:08:04,840 --> 01:08:07,200
A dungeon door creaks open,
revealing nothing but empty

1202
01:08:07,200 --> 01:08:09,920
darkness.
The stories stop before their

1203
01:08:09,960 --> 01:08:15,360
ending.
The cult's magic, sorry, the

1204
01:08:15,360 --> 01:08:19,120
cult's magic has damaged the
narrative engine of Ever Con.

1205
01:08:20,279 --> 01:08:23,120
At the center of the chamber
float 3 unstable story

1206
01:08:23,120 --> 01:08:25,880
fragments, each swirling with
half written magic.

1207
01:08:27,359 --> 01:08:30,479
As you approach, one of them
flickers to life.

1208
01:08:31,520 --> 01:08:34,439
Words begin to form slowly in
the air before you.

1209
01:08:35,600 --> 01:08:39,560
So how this will work is you
have entered the Hall of

1210
01:08:39,560 --> 01:08:42,720
Unwritten Stories.
This is one of the most powerful

1211
01:08:42,720 --> 01:08:45,560
places in the realm of ever con.
This is a place where unfinished

1212
01:08:45,560 --> 01:08:48,160
adventures, abandoned campaigns,
and half written plot hooks

1213
01:08:48,160 --> 01:08:51,920
drift throughout reality.
Normally these fragments

1214
01:08:51,920 --> 01:08:54,240
eventually resolve themselves as
stories continue across the

1215
01:08:54,240 --> 01:08:57,680
plains, but the cult of the
Carps have damaged this place,

1216
01:08:58,760 --> 01:09:02,640
which means stories are here,
and stories here are breaking

1217
01:09:02,640 --> 01:09:05,720
before they reach their ending.
Right now in front of you there

1218
01:09:05,720 --> 01:09:08,000
are three unstable story
fragments.

1219
01:09:08,760 --> 01:09:12,720
Each one holds a story, and your
job is to finish the story.

1220
01:09:14,040 --> 01:09:21,680
Shut up, shut up.
Finish the story not with dice,

1221
01:09:21,760 --> 01:09:25,640
but with imagination.
I will read the beginning of a

1222
01:09:25,640 --> 01:09:28,800
scenario.
One of you will jump in and

1223
01:09:28,800 --> 01:09:31,920
finish it however you like.
Now here's the twist.

1224
01:09:33,279 --> 01:09:36,640
You must, in front of our
audience, perform that ending.

1225
01:09:38,439 --> 01:09:46,240
Can they move on 1st?
Now, if they, if the audience

1226
01:09:46,240 --> 01:09:53,000
enjoys the ending of that story,
we will ask them to react very

1227
01:09:53,000 --> 01:09:58,000
loudly, very loudly.
And if they stay quiet, well,

1228
01:09:58,000 --> 01:10:05,200
you are going to take a whole.
So the audience at this point

1229
01:10:05,200 --> 01:10:08,240
gets to decide whether you're
storytelling, it's either going

1230
01:10:08,240 --> 01:10:10,520
to save the story and save
reality.

1231
01:10:11,520 --> 01:10:13,280
Or performing a story.
Or create a problem.

1232
01:10:13,280 --> 01:10:16,480
You are finishing a story.
I will give you the beginning of

1233
01:10:16,480 --> 01:10:17,880
that story.
You will finish Participate,

1234
01:10:18,680 --> 01:10:21,280
yes.
I've had too much alcohol to

1235
01:10:21,400 --> 01:10:24,880
participate.
Or not enough.

1236
01:10:26,640 --> 01:10:28,880
I have not had enough alcohol to
participate.

1237
01:10:30,040 --> 01:10:35,400
So.
The first story fragment glowing

1238
01:10:35,400 --> 01:10:38,920
words in the air begin to form.
Those are not edible a.

1239
01:10:38,920 --> 01:10:45,040
Dragon arrives in the town of
Mapleton and demands.

1240
01:10:47,040 --> 01:10:49,640
Go.
Demands goal.

1241
01:10:50,400 --> 01:10:54,640
Go and demands go.
Fuck yeah.

1242
01:10:56,040 --> 01:10:58,760
Where's the match game thing?
It demands human flesh.

1243
01:10:58,760 --> 01:11:00,920
He's.
Taking us a what?

1244
01:11:01,320 --> 01:11:03,560
It demands human flesh.
All right.

1245
01:11:05,480 --> 01:11:07,640
Come on up, Ryan.
We do have some performance.

1246
01:11:07,680 --> 01:11:09,480
Yeah, yeah, I made it crystal
clear do.

1247
01:11:10,600 --> 01:11:12,320
I have to go there.
His character.

1248
01:11:12,360 --> 01:11:15,680
'S name is Fizwick.
He just called him Ryan.

1249
01:11:15,880 --> 01:11:19,080
Ryan So wait, I'm the dragon?
This is no freaking.

1250
01:11:20,080 --> 01:11:22,480
Hey 17 foot tall man beat the
dragon.

1251
01:11:23,280 --> 01:11:24,760
I don't want to be the dragon
too bad.

1252
01:11:24,760 --> 01:11:27,280
I want to be the sacrifice.
He's the.

1253
01:11:27,760 --> 01:11:29,280
Flesh I can't get out, Jesus
Christ.

1254
01:11:30,040 --> 01:11:31,120
I'm going to be a dragon.
I was.

1255
01:11:31,240 --> 01:11:33,360
Like I got to be honest, your
balls have got to be in your.

1256
01:11:33,440 --> 01:11:35,320
I'm going to give them human
flesh right now.

1257
01:11:35,920 --> 01:11:37,640
You do have a weapon.
Be careful.

1258
01:11:37,800 --> 01:11:41,320
It was nice knowing you, pal.
Let it be known that ever con

1259
01:11:41,320 --> 01:11:46,680
staff didn't clear this weapon.
So all right.

1260
01:11:46,720 --> 01:11:51,760
A dragon arrives in the town of
Mapleton and demands human flesh

1261
01:11:51,760 --> 01:11:52,840
give.
Me flesh.

1262
01:11:57,360 --> 01:12:02,640
He's got human flesh.
That's all you get.

1263
01:12:02,640 --> 01:12:04,240
Sorry all.
Right what?

1264
01:12:04,240 --> 01:12:06,760
Did we think was that good?
She.

1265
01:12:09,200 --> 01:12:09,760
Can't breathe.
She.

1266
01:12:10,920 --> 01:12:15,760
Can't breathe?
Question is now two of them

1267
01:12:15,920 --> 01:12:20,160
participated.
I was dragged by the DM.

1268
01:12:20,880 --> 01:12:22,400
I'm not going to hold Bob to a
cow.

1269
01:12:22,960 --> 01:12:27,800
I did force him into it so as I
just.

1270
01:12:28,000 --> 01:12:30,920
Made it easy.
You begin to attempt to finish

1271
01:12:30,920 --> 01:12:36,800
the story, the magic, and around
this first fragment begins to

1272
01:12:37,080 --> 01:12:41,280
destabilize and it becomes very
hot and on.

1273
01:12:41,280 --> 01:12:44,960
You're unable to breathe.
Kind of like dinner and.

1274
01:12:45,400 --> 01:12:47,080
You'll take.
Unable to breathe.

1275
01:12:47,360 --> 01:12:51,760
And you just feel your, your,
you feel inside of your head and

1276
01:12:51,760 --> 01:12:54,840
your brain just feels like
somebody just clamping down on

1277
01:12:54,840 --> 01:12:57,440
your head.
Hell, like us on BG three, yeah.

1278
01:12:57,840 --> 01:12:59,720
You're going to take 9 psychic
damage.

1279
01:13:00,120 --> 01:13:03,120
Oh OK, it's only 9.
Nine, you're going to take a

1280
01:13:03,120 --> 01:13:04,840
whole lot of damage.
Have not.

1281
01:13:04,840 --> 01:13:09,640
You're wild magic sorcerers.
I have 70. 5 Not even I was

1282
01:13:09,680 --> 01:13:11,440
going to say that's not even a
third I can't do.

1283
01:13:13,840 --> 01:13:15,000
Baby, I'm all of.
The border.

1284
01:13:15,160 --> 01:13:19,120
I'm all of a sudden going to
hold Bob to this encounter now

1285
01:13:19,120 --> 01:13:21,160
and you know.
I was going I because honest,

1286
01:13:21,680 --> 01:13:23,160
honestly, I was going to do.
I was.

1287
01:13:23,720 --> 01:13:25,440
Quickly backtracking what he
said.

1288
01:13:26,360 --> 01:13:28,160
You're digging a hole, but.
Not no, it's fine.

1289
01:13:28,640 --> 01:13:30,920
I have every intention of this
character anyway.

1290
01:13:30,920 --> 01:13:33,680
I don't.
Want my character to die.

1291
01:13:33,760 --> 01:13:37,440
I kind of sort of maybe like.
Her a lot the.

1292
01:13:37,440 --> 01:13:41,240
King reveals he was secretly
stupid shit.

1293
01:13:42,760 --> 01:13:46,560
The king what?
The king reveals he was secretly

1294
01:13:49,280 --> 01:13:51,720
perfect.
He said it, so go.

1295
01:13:52,560 --> 01:13:54,640
Perform a dead king.
My lead.

1296
01:13:55,320 --> 01:14:00,200
Go perform on that dead king.
Whoa, hold on, hold on.

1297
01:14:00,960 --> 01:14:05,560
Not off camera if you want.
I hope that hurt.

1298
01:14:06,720 --> 01:14:09,680
I hope that hurt.
Wait, are you the king?

1299
01:14:10,280 --> 01:14:12,040
Whoa.
You're.

1300
01:14:14,520 --> 01:14:19,800
Just hold it, hold it, hold,
hold, hold.

1301
01:14:21,400 --> 01:14:24,320
Unfair advantage?
Beautiful.

1302
01:14:24,440 --> 01:14:30,400
Bravo.
Unfair advantage?

1303
01:14:30,400 --> 01:14:32,520
Down here in a corset little and
get back up.

1304
01:14:33,000 --> 01:14:35,920
Guys for days.
Oh, I sacrificed my got to.

1305
01:14:35,960 --> 01:14:41,480
Use what you got baby.
And if I don't?

1306
01:14:41,640 --> 01:14:45,280
Get.
It deserved worse, but here we

1307
01:14:45,280 --> 01:14:45,880
are, God.
My.

1308
01:14:46,040 --> 01:14:46,920
Ass.
Pretty sure it's going to be a

1309
01:14:46,920 --> 01:14:51,120
mark on my shoulder for a month.
Seraphin, go ahead and gain an

1310
01:14:51,120 --> 01:14:52,800
inspiration.
And four minutes.

1311
01:14:53,520 --> 01:14:57,280
Yes, I'm at level something
your.

1312
01:14:57,880 --> 01:15:01,880
Other The dungeon door opens to
reveal.

1313
01:15:04,320 --> 01:15:06,240
It was a mimic the whole.
Time.

1314
01:15:09,960 --> 01:15:11,440
I don't know how to do an.
Archie, everybody.

1315
01:15:13,760 --> 01:15:14,560
I.
Need to.

1316
01:15:15,080 --> 01:15:16,240
Be a door tray.
Door, Yeah.

1317
01:15:17,720 --> 01:15:21,080
We need a door.
I'm imagining somebody opens the

1318
01:15:21,200 --> 01:15:23,480
door and.
Kyle will be Yeah, we.

1319
01:15:23,960 --> 01:15:25,160
Got Kyle.
Kyle will be.

1320
01:15:25,240 --> 01:15:26,680
The door, yes.
I love why didn't.

1321
01:15:26,720 --> 01:15:28,280
You use him for the dragon.
He would.

1322
01:15:28,280 --> 01:15:30,520
Actually, he could do that.
Taller because you're like 70.

1323
01:15:30,720 --> 01:15:32,040
Feet tall.
Yeah, of course I got to be the

1324
01:15:32,080 --> 01:15:34,520
snowing.
Right the door.

1325
01:15:34,520 --> 01:15:37,640
The dungeon door opens.
Open the door.

1326
01:15:38,560 --> 01:15:42,200
To reveal it was a mimic the
entire time.

1327
01:15:43,600 --> 01:15:45,160
Get chomped and killed most
likely.

1328
01:15:45,560 --> 01:15:49,360
Chomp him.
Jesus.

1329
01:15:52,480 --> 01:15:55,280
Christ.
I.

1330
01:15:55,840 --> 01:16:01,680
Thought the.
Yeah, if we can get a.

1331
01:16:01,680 --> 01:16:04,000
Member of ever Con staff to
confirm that we have the

1332
01:16:04,000 --> 01:16:07,880
insurance for that.
I think I just witnessed an

1333
01:16:07,880 --> 01:16:10,240
assault.
Perfect.

1334
01:16:10,240 --> 01:16:12,360
Yeah, they reacted so right.
And take your inspiration all.

1335
01:16:12,800 --> 01:16:16,280
Right.
Yes, that's a beautiful movie.

1336
01:16:17,240 --> 01:16:21,640
Good job.
Yes, yes, good job.

1337
01:16:22,480 --> 01:16:24,840
And as that final story
fragments, kind of settles into

1338
01:16:24,840 --> 01:16:28,200
pace, pace place with a soft,
soft pulse of light.

1339
01:16:28,720 --> 01:16:30,880
For a brief.
Moment the Chamber of unfinished

1340
01:16:30,880 --> 01:16:35,280
tails grows still, Then the
entire tower shudders.

1341
01:16:35,920 --> 01:16:38,880
A deep thunderous sound rolls
through the convention Spire.

1342
01:16:38,880 --> 01:16:42,720
Not an explosion, but an not an
earthquake, but the sound that

1343
01:16:42,720 --> 01:16:44,840
you recognize immediately.
Dice.

1344
01:16:44,840 --> 01:16:47,400
Oh, I was going to ask thousands
tornado.

1345
01:16:48,920 --> 01:16:51,120
I got to leave those today but
thanks continue.

1346
01:16:54,720 --> 01:16:56,680
I glad we all recognize the
tornado.

1347
01:16:57,960 --> 01:16:59,040
I don't know, he said.
It was loud.

1348
01:16:59,080 --> 01:17:01,280
It's it's not this.
It's not an earthquake.

1349
01:17:02,040 --> 01:17:04,800
Thousands of dice.
Thousands of dice.

1350
01:17:06,280 --> 01:17:13,560
Somewhere, somewhere high above,
something enormous rolls across

1351
01:17:13,560 --> 01:17:16,400
crystal stone with a deafening
clatter is.

1352
01:17:16,720 --> 01:17:18,040
It Bob.
It is.

1353
01:17:19,920 --> 01:17:23,280
It's not Bob.
I've been taking.

1354
01:17:23,280 --> 01:17:27,880
This abuse for 18 years.
The glowy staircase ahead of you

1355
01:17:28,080 --> 01:17:32,920
rises, forming A spiraling path
upward the nice tower through

1356
01:17:32,920 --> 01:17:37,880
the heart of the Spire.
As you climb, the air grows

1357
01:17:37,880 --> 01:17:42,000
heavier with unstable magic.
Words flicker across the walls

1358
01:17:42,000 --> 01:17:45,880
like half erased ink.
Entire scenes from forgotten

1359
01:17:45,880 --> 01:17:48,400
adventures appear and vanish in
flashes of light.

1360
01:17:48,960 --> 01:17:55,760
You reach the summit, the
chamber, that's our show,

1361
01:17:55,760 --> 01:17:56,760
everybody, and thanks for.
Coming.

1362
01:17:58,040 --> 01:18:01,320
The caper at the top of the
convention fires vast opening to

1363
01:18:01,320 --> 01:18:05,080
the storming sky above.
Ever con lightning made of

1364
01:18:05,080 --> 01:18:08,760
swirling dice crackles through
the loud through the clouds

1365
01:18:08,760 --> 01:18:11,760
overhead.
At the center of the room floats

1366
01:18:11,760 --> 01:18:17,280
a massive crystal D20 suspended
in mid air like a second moon.

1367
01:18:18,280 --> 01:18:23,240
Inside it, frozen in radiant
light, is a tall figure wearing

1368
01:18:23,240 --> 01:18:27,000
the cloak patterned in tiny dice
and playing cards.

1369
01:18:28,080 --> 01:18:33,200
A crown shaped like AD 20 rests
upon his brow.

1370
01:18:33,200 --> 01:18:34,920
What?
Colour is the D20.

1371
01:18:39,840 --> 01:18:44,240
You're colour blind.
No, not you.

1372
01:18:44,240 --> 01:18:46,240
I'm not talking to you.
You are colour blind.

1373
01:18:47,320 --> 01:18:49,320
Wow.
That's my friend.

1374
01:18:49,720 --> 01:18:53,480
Can you see this OK?
Did I?

1375
01:18:53,560 --> 01:18:54,920
Roll with inside.
Yeah, go ahead.

1376
01:18:54,920 --> 01:19:00,280
And give me an inside check OK?
But what did you mean that's a

1377
01:19:00,280 --> 01:19:01,360
net 20, Sir?
What?

1378
01:19:02,360 --> 01:19:04,880
Would it be?
A.

1379
01:19:05,600 --> 01:19:08,520
A A A head of horns.
As Lord Abrot of.

1380
01:19:08,880 --> 01:19:11,280
Northern, where is.
That a crowd.

1381
01:19:14,840 --> 01:19:18,360
He's he's lost it in the in the
kidnap.

1382
01:19:18,720 --> 01:19:19,200
Oh.
Yes.

1383
01:19:20,640 --> 01:19:23,880
This is Lord Everkon.
OK.

1384
01:19:23,960 --> 01:19:25,360
Hey guys.
This is the guy we need to get

1385
01:19:25,360 --> 01:19:27,080
quarter.
Thorns and roses.

1386
01:19:27,200 --> 01:19:27,560
What?
I said.

1387
01:19:27,560 --> 01:19:30,560
Oh, so don't fire on?
Don't Jesus.

1388
01:19:31,280 --> 01:19:32,600
Christ, it is Lord Everkon.
Oh.

1389
01:19:34,520 --> 01:19:36,760
God Fireball.
Why?

1390
01:19:39,280 --> 01:19:43,600
Why I?
I God, I I hesitate to ask, but

1391
01:19:43,600 --> 01:19:44,960
yes, I'm going to.
Rescue him?

1392
01:19:45,080 --> 01:19:46,160
How far?
Away is he.

1393
01:19:46,160 --> 01:19:48,320
He's very high in it.
Like how?

1394
01:19:48,720 --> 01:19:54,440
Like 90 feet, 1000 feet.
OK.

1395
01:19:54,640 --> 01:19:58,200
Let it happen.
The dice is exploding in the

1396
01:19:58,200 --> 01:20:00,120
air, yes.
And how?

1397
01:20:00,240 --> 01:20:00,840
Far.
Away is it.

1398
01:20:00,920 --> 01:20:05,080
From the wall, no.
So this area is think of it as

1399
01:20:05,080 --> 01:20:08,280
like an open rooftop of the
convention.

1400
01:20:08,560 --> 01:20:10,640
Fire you reach the.
Roof effectively of the

1401
01:20:10,640 --> 01:20:12,400
Convention.
So it's like a stadium, right?

1402
01:20:12,480 --> 01:20:13,320
Correct.
Yeah, OK.

1403
01:20:13,600 --> 01:20:18,080
Perfect size for a.
If you say fireball, I'm going

1404
01:20:18,080 --> 01:20:26,080
to come over.
There maybe a twin something or

1405
01:20:26,080 --> 01:20:27,880
multiple twin something.
Go on, say it.

1406
01:20:27,880 --> 01:20:30,040
You want a twin fireball, Lord
Evercon?

1407
01:20:30,040 --> 01:20:30,880
Go on, say.
It.

1408
01:20:31,040 --> 01:20:31,960
No.
No.

1409
01:20:31,960 --> 01:20:36,240
He's imprisoned it, not him.
I can make him closer 6 seconds

1410
01:20:39,640 --> 01:20:42,880
below the floating dice.
I'm just going to let you fester

1411
01:20:42,880 --> 01:20:45,920
in whatever you're attempting to
do below the floating dye I can.

1412
01:20:45,920 --> 01:20:48,920
Do it.
Stands a tall figure in robes

1413
01:20:48,920 --> 01:20:51,920
stitched from shredded parchment
and ink.

1414
01:20:52,760 --> 01:20:57,040
Ink.
Times 10.

1415
01:21:00,560 --> 01:21:04,480
Well, yeah, this is I edict
Maldict so.

1416
01:21:08,640 --> 01:21:10,240
Should we?
Should we twin fireball?

1417
01:21:11,400 --> 01:21:13,840
I want if you want to spend all
your sorcery points, sure that I

1418
01:21:13,840 --> 01:21:14,600
can't.
I regret.

1419
01:21:14,600 --> 01:21:18,760
If we eat sorcery 3.
Oh yeah, and we just got them

1420
01:21:18,800 --> 01:21:20,280
all back.
Metamagric, whatever, that's an

1421
01:21:20,280 --> 01:21:22,720
extra 2, yeah.
Yeah, we just got them all back,

1422
01:21:22,720 --> 01:21:24,720
didn't we?
Yeah, I have 10 sorcery points.

1423
01:21:24,720 --> 01:21:28,640
I'm going to quicken all of my
fireballs.

1424
01:21:28,640 --> 01:21:30,800
I.
Mean you don't need to, you're

1425
01:21:30,800 --> 01:21:33,320
not in combat.
Yeah, we don't need to be in

1426
01:21:33,320 --> 01:21:34,040
combat.
What?

1427
01:21:34,640 --> 01:21:37,760
I'm going to cast Fly on.
You.

1428
01:21:38,200 --> 01:21:43,840
On me.
OK, hold on a second.

1429
01:21:43,840 --> 01:21:47,080
First of all, I think.
It's a Level 3.

1430
01:21:47,440 --> 01:21:47,960
Why?
Because.

1431
01:21:48,400 --> 01:21:51,200
Then I'm going to dispel magic
on that floating thing, and then

1432
01:21:51,200 --> 01:21:55,000
I'm going to catch Lord Erecon
and we're going to fly home.

1433
01:21:55,840 --> 01:21:57,520
What are you, Peter Pan?
Yes.

1434
01:21:58,280 --> 01:22:01,200
You know, if he was Peter Pan,
he needed to, oh, I want to be

1435
01:22:01,240 --> 01:22:04,840
Tinkerbell.
Oh, I'm not done, you just say.

1436
01:22:08,600 --> 01:22:09,400
We're in dessert A.
Simple.

1437
01:22:09,440 --> 01:22:10,400
You can fly.
You can fly you're.

1438
01:22:10,400 --> 01:22:11,280
Going to fly?
I don't know.

1439
01:22:11,720 --> 01:22:17,440
You're fabulous, darling.
I'm definitely not going to fly

1440
01:22:17,440 --> 01:22:20,600
back to the portal and then I'm
definitely not going to dispel

1441
01:22:20,600 --> 01:22:22,160
magic the portal with the rest
of the minute.

1442
01:22:22,440 --> 01:22:25,480
What alignment are you?
Babe M.

1443
01:22:26,240 --> 01:22:29,600
Alignment.
That's the greatest thing you've

1444
01:22:29,600 --> 01:22:31,600
ever said to me.
That was fantastic Go.

1445
01:22:32,200 --> 01:22:35,400
Ahead and get an inspiration for
that I enjoyed that what

1446
01:22:35,400 --> 01:22:38,640
alignment are you always true
neutral you're all you're right

1447
01:22:38,640 --> 01:22:42,480
you wouldn't do that he's.
Lying.

1448
01:22:43,000 --> 01:22:44,560
Wait, you made my character?
What a lie.

1449
01:22:45,080 --> 01:22:49,040
Let's do this.
We're going to take a quick

1450
01:22:49,040 --> 01:22:52,720
break, come back, hear from our
sponsors, hear from our

1451
01:22:52,720 --> 01:22:55,000
sponsors, and we'll be right
back with more of Crit Happens.

1452
01:22:55,240 --> 01:22:58,120
Tonight's episode of Crit
Happens is sponsored by Scribe

1453
01:22:58,120 --> 01:23:00,240
Quill.
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1454
01:23:00,240 --> 01:23:02,840
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01:23:02,840 --> 01:23:06,440
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1456
01:23:06,680 --> 01:23:10,080
turns it into an engaging recap
and narrates it with text to

1457
01:23:10,080 --> 01:23:12,600
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Dial in the vibe with thematic

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01:23:12,600 --> 01:23:15,640
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01:23:15,640 --> 01:23:17,760
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1460
01:23:17,760 --> 01:23:20,000
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1461
01:23:20,280 --> 01:23:22,360
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1462
01:23:22,640 --> 01:23:24,880
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1463
01:23:24,920 --> 01:23:27,720
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1464
01:23:28,560 --> 01:23:30,800
Welcome back to Crit Happens
here on Spotify, iTunes.

1465
01:23:30,840 --> 01:23:37,960
Crit happens dot show.
It's.

1466
01:23:38,080 --> 01:23:40,480
Midnight Who on?
Earth could be texting.

1467
01:23:41,120 --> 01:23:43,200
Love it.
Live on a Patriot podcast.

1468
01:23:43,240 --> 01:23:47,520
Welcome back to Crit Happens
Live from Ever con 2026.

1469
01:23:48,640 --> 01:23:51,120
Good God.
All right, so I'm going to

1470
01:23:51,120 --> 01:23:55,320
resolve all the fireballs again.
Let's roll initiative.

1471
01:23:55,320 --> 01:23:59,240
How?
A magnet.

1472
01:23:59,720 --> 01:24:02,320
That touches it, but I don't.
Know exactly I had it.

1473
01:24:02,360 --> 01:24:03,880
It's gone now.
No shit, I just.

1474
01:24:03,960 --> 01:24:05,480
Cast eggs raining, is it?
Pouring.

1475
01:24:05,760 --> 01:24:08,840
It's got to be.
Do you want me to fall asleep?

1476
01:24:08,840 --> 01:24:10,960
Oh.
No my windows.

1477
01:24:10,960 --> 01:24:12,080
Are magnet that goes on the
back.

1478
01:24:12,360 --> 01:24:14,960
Your windows are down.
Lost enough tornado.

1479
01:24:18,400 --> 01:24:20,160
It's not a tornado.
Pouring now.

1480
01:24:21,200 --> 01:24:23,840
It's raining right now.
Why do I I'm rolling?

1481
01:24:23,840 --> 01:24:25,840
Something everybody rolling
initiative shit.

1482
01:24:26,040 --> 01:24:30,880
All right, who rolled that?
20 yeah, 20 buddies.

1483
01:24:33,560 --> 01:24:36,080
No, I won't allow it this.
Is ISIS all right?

1484
01:24:36,080 --> 01:24:38,200
Good.
Who rolled higher than a 20?

1485
01:24:38,680 --> 01:24:40,120
And oh, rolled higher.
Yeah.

1486
01:24:40,160 --> 01:24:45,280
Yeah, nobody did. 25. 25. 2828
All right, 28 Jesse goes first

1487
01:24:45,520 --> 01:24:46,480
again.
ISIS.

1488
01:24:48,480 --> 01:24:50,440
First, would you roll 25 Jess or
Bob?

1489
01:24:50,720 --> 01:24:55,400
24 I'm sorry I lied. 23 Hold on,
let me pull 2. 2120.

1490
01:24:55,440 --> 01:25:01,000
Ready for business?
1918171615. 15.

1491
01:25:02,440 --> 01:25:03,960
No, in fact, it did not hear
you.

1492
01:25:04,840 --> 01:25:06,840
I don't.
Believe the words my fault

1493
01:25:06,840 --> 01:25:08,560
would.
Do that like chain lightning

1494
01:25:08,560 --> 01:25:09,360
maybe?
I don't know.

1495
01:25:09,880 --> 01:25:10,800
I am your.
Girlfriend.

1496
01:25:10,800 --> 01:25:15,800
So I hope everybody can hear the
absolute torrential downpour.

1497
01:25:15,800 --> 01:25:18,400
It sounds like this, Yeah, this
is rain.

1498
01:25:18,400 --> 01:25:21,440
I'm raining.
There's an ambient microphone in

1499
01:25:21,440 --> 01:25:23,600
the middle of the floor.
I'm pretty sure they'll be able

1500
01:25:23,600 --> 01:25:24,680
to hear it.
I'm.

1501
01:25:24,960 --> 01:25:31,240
Raining.
OK, we're going to speak a

1502
01:25:31,240 --> 01:25:31,960
little louder.
I can't.

1503
01:25:32,080 --> 01:25:39,360
Hear you 2120.
You 15 Was the next one correct

1504
01:25:39,360 --> 01:25:41,840
1413121111?
10.

1505
01:25:43,160 --> 01:25:45,760
I.
Do.

1506
01:25:46,760 --> 01:25:51,160
OK, I assume all of you are once
again quick or twin spelling

1507
01:25:51,160 --> 01:25:52,520
fireball.
You.

1508
01:25:52,560 --> 01:25:56,800
Don't have fireball?
Fireball, what are you?

1509
01:25:56,840 --> 01:25:59,440
Going to do on your surprise
turn as you watch a whole city

1510
01:25:59,440 --> 01:26:05,640
get melted.
Again, can I Can I think better

1511
01:26:05,640 --> 01:26:08,240
for a second?
Sure, we'll let the we'll let

1512
01:26:08,240 --> 01:26:10,560
the other, the rest of the party
surprise.

1513
01:26:11,080 --> 01:26:13,160
So we already had Hiroshima, so
this is Nagasaki.

1514
01:26:13,160 --> 01:26:14,280
Yeah, yeah.
This would be Nagasaki.

1515
01:26:16,960 --> 01:26:18,560
Let me know.
And then here's here the P3

1516
01:26:18,560 --> 01:26:20,640
podcast.
We know three times.

1517
01:26:21,040 --> 01:26:22,640
We hear it to the P3 pocket.
What?

1518
01:26:22,680 --> 01:26:24,000
Do.
Not keep going this.

1519
01:26:24,920 --> 01:26:27,280
Close to fireball is Nagasaki.
Or Hiroshima again for.

1520
01:26:27,680 --> 01:26:29,200
The.
Fireball story.

1521
01:26:29,960 --> 01:26:31,240
Entire fucking.
Thing.

1522
01:26:32,920 --> 01:26:36,640
I'm just saying it happened.
Can you go?

1523
01:26:36,640 --> 01:26:39,360
What it is?
Jessie, roll me two D 20s

1524
01:26:39,360 --> 01:26:40,760
please.
Go did I?

1525
01:26:40,960 --> 01:26:43,800
Cast bells.
Go resolving the fireballs.

1526
01:26:43,800 --> 01:26:45,320
First, oh.
I cast fireballs.

1527
01:26:45,480 --> 01:26:48,440
Yeah, yeah, you said.
I know I said it.

1528
01:26:48,520 --> 01:26:50,840
We all said it.
And that 20 and a six.

1529
01:26:50,880 --> 01:26:51,880
Oh.
My dice.

1530
01:26:52,040 --> 01:26:53,600
Rolling.
OK, we're going to start with

1531
01:26:53,640 --> 01:26:55,400
-1.
Four net 20.

1532
01:26:56,360 --> 01:27:02,080
I'm I'm fully aware of that I
rolled 2. 13 and 19.

1533
01:27:03,680 --> 01:27:05,600
OK, all of a sudden we're back
up to 1.

1534
01:27:05,600 --> 01:27:09,600
All right, who's next?
Kenzie, don't look at me like

1535
01:27:09,600 --> 01:27:11,760
that.
I got an 8 and A2.

1536
01:27:14,320 --> 01:27:22,440
Gene QD 20s. 77 and 11.
And I'm like Jesus Christ. 45.

1537
01:27:22,640 --> 01:27:26,200
What are we for?
The dude, The one dude standing

1538
01:27:26,200 --> 01:27:27,120
in the centre.
That guy.

1539
01:27:27,120 --> 01:27:30,880
Yeah, that Dick.
He said so.

1540
01:27:32,920 --> 01:27:38,640
Six and a 17. 17 OK ladies.
And gentlemen, I do believe it

1541
01:27:38,640 --> 01:27:41,760
have stopped raining.
Yeah, it's like an eerie column.

1542
01:27:41,760 --> 01:27:42,920
All of a sudden.
I'm just waiting for all the

1543
01:27:42,920 --> 01:27:45,080
power to go out.
Here comes the tornado.

1544
01:27:46,200 --> 01:27:49,920
Shut up here.
Comes all right with a town.

1545
01:27:50,200 --> 01:27:56,880
That so as you let loose this I
I don't even know how to explain

1546
01:27:56,880 --> 01:27:58,160
it anymore.
It's just.

1547
01:27:58,320 --> 01:28:00,960
Hell, the third sunset.
Yeah, this is approach of the

1548
01:28:00,960 --> 01:28:07,400
19th sun.
Poor man's meteor storm it.

1549
01:28:08,760 --> 01:28:10,680
Is Ivy Do you want to roll a
die?

1550
01:28:12,800 --> 01:28:14,320
Somebody want to kick Ivy the
die?

1551
01:28:16,320 --> 01:28:18,000
You're the only one that hasn't
rolled it yet.

1552
01:28:18,040 --> 01:28:19,240
Yeah, come on, roll the other
one.

1553
01:28:19,240 --> 01:28:22,520
You guys can roll it four times.
Unless do you want to just roll

1554
01:28:22,520 --> 01:28:25,840
both of them, you want to have
him roll both of them, or you

1555
01:28:25,840 --> 01:28:29,840
want to roll 1?
Cool tell you all.

1556
01:28:30,280 --> 01:28:34,720
Right, we've got four wild magic
surges, so go ahead and roll

1557
01:28:34,720 --> 01:28:40,800
Jesus Christ 088 and 7:15.
Do the math.

1558
01:28:40,800 --> 01:28:43,120
All right, you can roll the rest
of.

1559
01:28:43,120 --> 01:28:44,960
Them one knees.
Double.

1560
01:28:45,080 --> 01:28:47,800
I'm letting you know right now
if a 40 is rolled, this game is

1561
01:28:48,040 --> 01:28:49,880
over.
Good one. 40.

1562
01:28:51,600 --> 01:28:59,200
Come on.
I see a 2 and an 18, so 2020 all

1563
01:28:59,200 --> 01:29:01,120
right.
Can the last one be doubled?

1564
01:29:01,160 --> 01:29:03,560
Two more times.
You do accept soccer.

1565
01:29:03,640 --> 01:29:05,480
Yes, it was a good I don't have
the button.

1566
01:29:05,680 --> 01:29:13,840
Yeah, I'll push it in post 16
and 1/6 of 22.

1567
01:29:14,080 --> 01:29:16,920
Spencer, I don't think you
should put that button in on

1568
01:29:16,960 --> 01:29:18,360
post.
I think you should put give it

1569
01:29:18,360 --> 01:29:22,720
to him raw and on post.
I'm not even going to do.

1570
01:29:22,960 --> 01:29:24,960
You remember.
That do you remember that you

1571
01:29:24,960 --> 01:29:26,480
did it?
I did do.

1572
01:29:27,080 --> 01:29:29,760
That, yeah.
Oh boy, what a roll.

1573
01:29:29,760 --> 01:29:30,760
That 20.
That 20.

1574
01:29:30,760 --> 01:29:34,320
That 20.
Oh shit, Oh. 16 we're in. 1111.

1575
01:29:35,520 --> 01:29:37,800
So 27.
All right, What's your name?

1576
01:29:39,040 --> 01:29:40,160
Josh.
Thank you very much.

1577
01:29:40,160 --> 01:29:40,840
Thank.
You, Josh.

1578
01:29:42,320 --> 01:29:46,480
Thank you, Josh.
All right, so we refer back to

1579
01:29:47,960 --> 01:29:48,960
the what?
What?

1580
01:29:49,480 --> 01:29:53,680
Yes, question.
How many pluses does one

1581
01:29:53,680 --> 01:29:57,640
inspiration give the surge role?
How many pluses?

1582
01:29:57,640 --> 01:30:00,560
Yeah, like if I spend an
inspiration to increase the

1583
01:30:00,560 --> 01:30:03,840
role, I.
Dare say one for each it was.

1584
01:30:05,000 --> 01:30:10,200
A 26. 27 was the highest role.
Cat 80 so.

1585
01:30:10,320 --> 01:30:11,680
We went to 2:33.
We really want.

1586
01:30:11,720 --> 01:30:13,560
This to happen he's.
Trying to get us to. 40 I have I

1587
01:30:13,920 --> 01:30:15,880
have an inspiration.
I know I have two.

1588
01:30:16,160 --> 01:30:18,480
I haven't enough to get a sample
amount of two and Patty's got.

1589
01:30:18,720 --> 01:30:21,120
I have lucky.
If we're at 26, that's enough to

1590
01:30:21,120 --> 01:30:21,760
get us at 40.
We.

1591
01:30:22,800 --> 01:30:27,200
Don't have 14 we.
Could, but we we don't roll the

1592
01:30:27,240 --> 01:30:29,680
inspiration.
No, no, no, I do have Lucky

1593
01:30:29,720 --> 01:30:31,040
Plus.
Oh, it's at a plus.

1594
01:30:31,080 --> 01:30:32,120
OK.
OK, go ahead.

1595
01:30:32,120 --> 01:30:33,320
What are we?
What blows up?

1596
01:30:33,600 --> 01:30:35,480
Are you?
Are you no OK.

1597
01:30:35,560 --> 01:30:38,240
We we want 40s.
You want 40s?

1598
01:30:38,520 --> 01:30:42,800
Oh, I want a lot more.
All right, what's up there?

1599
01:30:42,800 --> 01:30:44,480
It is.
Right on time, 15.

1600
01:30:44,480 --> 01:30:47,200
OK.
The next spell deals maximum

1601
01:30:47,200 --> 01:30:53,160
damage, right?
My fireballs deal excellent

1602
01:30:53,160 --> 01:31:00,200
damage. 20 Josh, please roll on
the Wild Magic Surge table

1603
01:31:00,200 --> 01:31:12,120
again. 4040 or at least. 40.
401919 I'm going to keep.

1604
01:31:13,800 --> 01:31:14,920
That one.
OK.

1605
01:31:15,120 --> 01:31:17,240
Roll that again.
All right, keep the 19.

1606
01:31:18,000 --> 01:31:23,280
If it's low, I'll be lucky if
you get hell yeah you are big.

1607
01:31:23,440 --> 01:31:27,960
Man, Big 10. 10. 29.
That's 29.

1608
01:31:28,120 --> 01:31:30,040
We need 11.
We have Who has two

1609
01:31:30,040 --> 01:31:32,440
inspirations.
I have an inspiration.

1610
01:31:32,640 --> 01:31:39,960
123456789.
That would get you to 38.

1611
01:31:39,960 --> 01:31:42,240
Do you wish to do that?
You're lucky it I will let you

1612
01:31:42,240 --> 01:31:43,520
know.
The higher the role they are

1613
01:31:43,520 --> 01:31:46,320
more unstable magic it is.
Lucky our, lucky it you're

1614
01:31:46,320 --> 01:31:47,200
going.
To lucky which?

1615
01:31:47,200 --> 01:31:48,360
One is that again.
He's 10.

1616
01:31:50,160 --> 01:31:52,360
We're working on this.
Come on, big money.

1617
01:31:52,360 --> 01:31:58,320
No whammies, big money.
Did you do it?

1618
01:31:59,880 --> 01:32:02,760
Everyone. 31, yes.
It is 40 collectively agree.

1619
01:32:02,760 --> 01:32:05,640
Yeah, I agree it's. 40.
All right.

1620
01:32:05,640 --> 01:32:09,040
I need consent from the entire
party.

1621
01:32:11,160 --> 01:32:14,320
Thank you.
I need consent from everybody.

1622
01:32:14,320 --> 01:32:15,040
Consent.
Consent.

1623
01:32:15,320 --> 01:32:16,960
Yeah, thumbs.
Up SO.

1624
01:32:18,640 --> 01:32:19,760
She said we have to.
Leave.

1625
01:32:19,760 --> 01:32:27,080
Yeah, yeah, we're.
Almost like. 5 minutes it's

1626
01:32:27,280 --> 01:32:28,720
gone.
I'm ready.

1627
01:32:28,920 --> 01:32:37,600
For so as you let loose this
hellacious fire, and for a

1628
01:32:37,600 --> 01:32:42,360
moment nothing happens, Then the
air begins to shutter.

1629
01:32:43,520 --> 01:32:46,000
A low vibration rolls through
the battlefield, like a distant

1630
01:32:46,000 --> 01:32:49,440
rumble of 1000 dice tumbling
through a wooden table.

1631
01:32:49,440 --> 01:32:53,280
Somewhere far beyond the sky,
the ground beneath you begins to

1632
01:32:53,280 --> 01:32:56,880
glow red.
Hot numbers appear across the

1633
01:32:56,880 --> 01:32:59,120
stone, and brilliant gold
spreading outward in every

1634
01:32:59,120 --> 01:33:05,360
direction. 271419 Above you, the
sky splits open.

1635
01:33:05,480 --> 01:33:08,960
The sound grows louder, dice
rolling, clattering endlessly.

1636
01:33:09,400 --> 01:33:13,040
Reality itself begins to buckle
under the weight of what you

1637
01:33:13,080 --> 01:33:13,720
have.
Just.

1638
01:33:13,880 --> 01:33:18,840
Done.
Every weapon, every magical hand

1639
01:33:18,840 --> 01:33:21,960
begins to hung with unstable
magic.

1640
01:33:21,960 --> 01:33:26,880
The air crackles with energy,
the ground seems unsure of which

1641
01:33:26,880 --> 01:33:28,640
direction gravity is supposed to
work.

1642
01:33:29,320 --> 01:33:37,000
Then every glowing rune locks
into place. 20 20/20/2020 2020

1643
01:33:37,520 --> 01:33:41,760
Over and over and over.
The storm overhead rolls roars

1644
01:33:41,760 --> 01:33:45,040
of RAW chaos, floods into the
world.

1645
01:33:45,560 --> 01:33:52,240
Spells flicker, Gravity Twist,
and then 20, 20 Lord Ever Con.

1646
01:33:52,920 --> 01:33:59,600
The D20 he's encased in vanishes
in a heartbeat, falling from

1647
01:33:59,600 --> 01:34:01,440
1000 feet.
Guess why?

1648
01:34:03,960 --> 01:34:05,720
Give me one final wild magic
prepare.

1649
01:34:06,200 --> 01:34:07,520
For like.
Oh, you did.

1650
01:34:08,040 --> 01:34:09,200
You did.
Are you going to cast it?

1651
01:34:09,280 --> 01:34:11,520
Yeah, I'll cast final.
On it give me one file final

1652
01:34:11,560 --> 01:34:13,720
check.
OK, one final check.

1653
01:34:13,720 --> 01:34:15,440
You know what?
I got AD 20 right in front of me

1654
01:34:15,440 --> 01:34:17,280
here.
Let's make it big.

1655
01:34:17,720 --> 01:34:19,480
Let's make it big, it big.
Spin download Oh my God.

1656
01:34:25,720 --> 01:34:27,120
Who's close?
OK.

1657
01:34:28,760 --> 01:34:32,120
And as you go ahead and roll
that one as well.

1658
01:34:35,480 --> 01:34:39,760
Hurry, Bob.
Take that 13 with a total of 24

1659
01:34:40,120 --> 01:34:43,880
you cast.
You see, Lord ever con falling

1660
01:34:44,160 --> 01:34:46,440
from the I'm.
Casting it forth and adding

1661
01:34:46,440 --> 01:34:49,680
myself to it.
OK, I have a fourth level spell

1662
01:34:49,680 --> 01:34:54,680
you cast towards Ever Con and
he's still hopelessly,

1663
01:34:54,680 --> 01:35:00,040
hopelessly falling.
Just arms and legs sprawly in

1664
01:35:00,040 --> 01:35:02,760
the air as if he's one of those
wacky inflatable arm flailing

1665
01:35:02,760 --> 01:35:05,440
tube men.
Then you see it.

1666
01:35:08,040 --> 01:35:14,160
Lord Ever Con begins to glide
and fly around the land of realm

1667
01:35:14,160 --> 01:35:19,160
of Ever Con and you have
successfully saved Lord Ever Con

1668
01:35:21,080 --> 01:35:23,840
that we'll do it for tonight's
episode of Crit happens live

1669
01:35:23,840 --> 01:35:27,120
from ever Con 2026.
Thank you so much all for coming

1670
01:35:27,120 --> 01:35:28,920
out tonight.
Thank you all so much for

1671
01:35:28,920 --> 01:35:31,720
listening.
We will see you on the next

1672
01:35:31,720 --> 01:35:36,960
episode of Crit Happens, which
for us it's in not.

1673
01:35:36,960 --> 01:35:39,760
Even 24 hours.
Thank you everybody so much for

1674
01:35:39,760 --> 01:35:40,840
listening.
We'll see you next time.

1675
01:35:40,840 --> 01:35:42,680
Bye bye.
Bye.

1676
01:36:16,370 --> 01:36:17,850
Every step is heavier.